Hot & Cold

Sorry, I have been missing in action these days...some of this absence can be blamed upon illness (shame on the influenza type A that's all I've got to say about it!), but in all honesty what's happening in my mind these days is something reminiscent of a solitary light bulb, in the corner of the dark basement, swinging back and forth, flickering from a disrupted power source. I have actually began 4 blog posts over the course of the past 3+ weeks I've been absent...just as I'm about to fully engulf myself to drown in God's grace...life comes barrelling through the door interrupting my intimate time basking in the presence of Jesus and letting His infinite love flow from my soul to these keys to your eyes. So I click "save" or I close my "notebook" and I tell myself "I'll be back" as if I'll actually believe it more if I just promise it to myself. Well, I do come back...completely inspired by some other life-teaching God moment that has occured and I begin the process all over again. What a crazy cycle I'm trapped on these days...hot or cold seem to be my only two modes. Cold when I'm engaged fully in "this world" and FIRE HOT when I'm hopelessly lost in "His world". There is much rumbling around inside me yet I'm having a hard time channeling the energy, I'm in a phase where I'm seriously just taking the time to learn, with God as my ultimate teacher I could spend every day in the classroom and never hear the bell ring!

My latest source of inspiration comes from a lady that literally perspires soul from her being as a human. She has had this ability to draw me in long before I knew the Lord, but now that I hear through different ears I find myself lured even more towards her presence and the truth in her words.

I find myself meditating on these wise words from Tracy Chapman in her song "paper and ink" (I suggest you listen to the song!!!)

Touched the mirror

Broke the surface of the water

Saw my true self

All illusions shattered

Money's only paper only ink

We'll destroy ourselves if we can't agree

How the world turns

Who made the sun

Who owns the sea

The world we know will fall piece by piece

Sat down up close to the colored black hole

Like they'd always told me not to

Saw the one dimension polka dot pacifier

And all illusions shattered

Money's only paper only ink

We'll destroy ourselves if we can't agree

How the world turns

Who made the sun

Who owns the sea

The world we know will fall piece by piece

Bared myself wholly heart and body unadorned

Stripped down solely

To the evil and the good

Felt no shame

Naked to the world

And all illusions shattered

Money's only paper only ink

We'll destroy ourselves if we can't agree

How the world turns

Who made the sun

Who owns the sea

The world we know will fall piece by piece

Faced towards the sea

Looked to heaven up above

Felt the world revolve around me

No one could tell me otherwise

But the turbulent waters won't reflect this life

Only the sun the moon and sky

And all illusions shattered

Money's only paper only ink

We'll destroy ourselves if we can't agree

How the world turns

Who made the sun

Who owns the sea

The world we know will fall piece by piece

Money's only paper only ink

Once I can channel what's going on inside me and keep my children healthy for longer than 24 hours...I hope the good Lord will grace me with the words to share and continue to ramble! Until then all I can do is continually apologize for being a slack blogger! I promise I hold many gems in the treasure chest...both from Africa and America! Their luster never dulls even if I'm holding them secretly captive from you all longer than I promised I would!