Ummm, pretty clear God was speaking. I knew without doubt He wanted me to expect that open heaven my heart was yearning for and I could BARELY contain myself to drive the last 5 miles to church. I ran into the sanctuary showed off my picture, shared my prayer to the others and I said “we need to expect BIG THINGS! Tonight is going to be ‘a good one’ [which is my Jesus crazy slang for GOD IS GOING TO SHOW UP BIG TIME!]” We sat together chatting and waiting to see if our fashionably late friend Renee would be joining us for the evening. About 7:10pm a man walked in the doors that I didn’t recognize, no big deal to me because I barely know half the parishioners that attend my church so I just figured it was somebody who knew their way around the place and didn’t give a second glance back after the initial sound of an opened door.
Benjamin Alan Best had just graced our presence and he came to us cloaked in a robe of majesty and truth, although appearing to our earthly eyes to be dirty blue wind pants, holey white T-shirt with hints of a black sweatshirt peaking from under the sleeves of a worn Blue spring jacket, topped with a grey dirty ‘do-rag’; my eyes were open to see this man was truly cloaked in heavenly garments as his presence entered into the sanctuary where I was seated.
Immediately in a loud, frank, booming voice he politely yet sternly asked “is there a Pastor around here? I need to speak with a Pastor or Priest in this town.” In this moment my heart did a somersault and butterflies rushed through my veins ~ my spirit KNEW this was going to be a special encounter with this stranger, whoever this man may be I was certain he was “sent” to us and we were lucky to be in his presence. Fortunately [or unfortunately] our Pastor was on vacation (normally he usually attends this prayer meeting with us) and so we could not help this man seek out the church officials he was searching for but he took a chair next to us and one of the members of our group said, "all you have at this church tonight... is us". I silently gasped for air to reach my flat-lining heart as Wayne had just spoke the words that were POUNDING to get out of my chest. With that invitation we embarked upon an amazing dance; Benjamin began to talk and we began to listen, and with divine rhythm he began to teach and we began to learn.
Broken, bitter, peeved fragments mumbled from this man’s mouth through a heavy lisp with a bit of an unrecognizable accent and it was so hard to understand him, you could not decipher the words unless you pressed in and hungered to have the ears to hear. Benjamin spoke tirelessly in circles, at first I hung on every mangled word that exited his mouth eager to know more as he revealed himself and his journey anxious to discover the purpose of our meeting. But for a solid 30 minutes he didn’t reveal himself at all, he spoke in angry, frustrated endless circles about “the church” and its "Christians”. I remember one stark retort from him "I've found more Christians in the local bars after all the Churches in the town have turned me away". More often than not we all found ourselves sitting in a state of confusion as to any sort of relation or full picture of this man’s story beyond his frustrated state of mind of the "church".
In a ruggedly raw yet somehow graceful dance with words Benjamin managed to eventually share with us his journey. Upon knocking at our door he was immersed into his 4th year of a vowed 5 year bike ride in honor of Matt Maupin who (4 years ago) was the first American soldier MIA, captured by terrorists (video-taped and all) and declared a POW in Iraq. Benjamin wanted to raise awareness of Matt’s dire situation so the American people could stand behind their lost soldier, rally together and advocate for our government to intensify their lack-luster search for him. Benjamin thought for certain if he just simply brought Matt’s story “to the people” Matt’s family along with many others would see this country and its people are truly worth fighting for. Benjamin believed in his heart Matt’s torturous unknown future as a POW in a foreign country he offered his life to fight (on our behalf) was not in vain and Benjamin believed that America would agree.
But alas, the Benjamin we would meet 4 years into his journey was another version, a stripped down, beaten, rebuked and abandoned ‘orphan’ that has been overlooked by a vast majority, an embarrassing large percentage of us people who call themselves by the name “Christian” who promised to Jesus Christ that we were His church, who claimed by right of birth to be Americans. His earlier broken-record tyrants were now beginning to penetrate my heart on a deeper level than the superficial offense provoking “judgemental blunt jargon” he had chosen when describing each and every denomination of Christians ever to be known. Actually although his words colorful, jumbled by his lisp and fueled with passion, he did not slander EVERY denomination, in all actuality he stretched my mind to hear just the opposite of what I had unknowingly, subconsciously come to believe engulfed in the snare and sins of “religion” and "judgement". He boasted in prideful manner uplifting the generosity of a few denominations that I had somehow came to a place of judgement over as less than “my standard”. He dragged the very denomination(s) I held at esteemed levels through the mud. I nearly had to laugh inside as the three of us sitting in this Lutheran church with Benjamin hearing him gut out a denomination of which all three of us feel a close connection and drawing too (aside from the Lutherans - which is the church we attend) and he pretty much plastered the inside of our sanctuary with their filthy remains. As I listened to this un-rated, un-filtered version spewing uncontrollably from his mouth I bantered back & forth internally between compassion, understanding and openness to the almighty sin of offense. I remember I even disengaged entirely, my mind wandered for a moment and I glanced at the clock at one point, being the countless 20-something time he was on another tyrant over such & such denominations and "salvation freaks" falling on my ears they were beginning to grow deaf. My mind was drifting to my selfish desire and I just wanted to “see” if this man’s venting was going to fill our “entire” prayer meeting so I checked the time. It was 7:50pm. In the beginning I remember moments of great compassion that filled my heart during this ongoing vent from Benjamin as well. I remember seeing him as an honorable man, on a noble quest, who had been hardened, embittered and failed by “the church” and the product had become a man who was the epitome of judgement over all Christians. Although he never asked for money, [he repeatedly asked for a way to “earn” what he needs to be on his way through our area so he needed to connect with a Pastor or Priest for information] I thought numerous times, his need is obviously money and I drifted back to the simplest of values taught to me by two generations of men in my family that fall into a mold I labeled “non-christian” and from my core I knew I wanted to give this man all the money I possessed at that moment because my deepest value was ringing through my mind as I clearly envisioned it flowing from the mouth of my family members to my heart “Give away what you have with joy because another needs it more than you do”.
It was slightly past 8:00 and I had decided to make my way to my car to gather all the cash I had or write this man a check, earlier in his conversation I had keenly picked up on a sentence where he shared $50 would take him from here all the way to North Dakota and I remember thinking “wow, $50 is so reasonable, this man is not asking for the world, how on earth will that little amount of money last him how ever many days it takes to ride a bike from Rice, MN to Fargo, ND!” As I grabbed my purse I was embarrassed, although I have a greater fortune and a bigger portion to share, I had NO checkbook and only $8 in cash and I wished to give so much more. I was unimpressed with myself but it was all I had and I knew with certainty he could use every penny so my measly $8 was essentially better than nothing. We gave this man all our collected money reaching a little over $40, nearly the amount needed to reach Fargo. We gave him directions to Little Falls and numbers of the specific churches he was seeking to find (the denominations that had welcomed him and helped him his entire 4 year journey and 3rd complete trip through 48 states. Only three denominations of “Christians” did not turn their back on this man and close their doors and so he had felt that he had grown favor in this community and actively sought those particular churches in each town he landed in). When I gave him my $8, he accepted with the most visible humility any person could have imagined, eyes towards the floor, legs shifting nervously and reaching out ever-so-gently he graciously accepted “my widow’s might” as if it were the “king’s treasure”. About 1 hour and 25 minutes after this dance began we were about to part ways, with the man named Benjamin Alan Best. We asked if we could pray for him before he left and he responded “well, that surely can’t hurt me so go ahead” ~ in true "Ben fashion"….so we prayed for all sorts of things and blessed Benjamin asking truly for God’s favor on his last 9 months ‘on the road’.
He exited the door of our church, I walked into the sanctuary and the three of us looked at one another in wonderment. I said “what on earth just happened?” and with those words a wave of titanic proportion perpetuated the flood that was violently released, revelation unfolded faster than the speed of light and my tiny mind exploded in recognition…..I had just spend 1 hour and 20 minutes with Jesus!! Instantly some of my favorite words from Mother Teresa came to my mind “The poor are Jesus in disguise”. Hard truth and conviction, repentance and mercy, abundant love and supernatural knowledge all surrounded in forgiveness was drowning me in this moment, that is Jesus. If I had to describe what was happening in my spirit in terms of taking place in my physical reality it would have been a scene from the Matrix no doubt! My tiny mind was blown into a million pieces once again, all in an instant, that is Jesus. Just as quickly as I asked the question, the Lord sent the answer and I screamed it out without reservation, like a child discovering something for the first time: THAT WAS JESUS! OH MY, OUR OPEN HEAVEN WAS A DATE WITH JESUS HIMSELF!! CAN YOU BELIEVE WE WERE JUST IN THE PRESENCE OF JESUS CHRIST?!!!!!!!! I was giddy, I longed to chase after Benjamin and thank him for being with me, spending his time with me, how honored and humbled I now felt to be in the presence of greatness! How “lucky” were we that no one was at our church all afternoon and Benjamin arrived sometime shortly after 1pm and he just lied on a picnic table BEHIND our church for all these hours and at 7:10pm he decided it was time to move on from Shepherds of the Pines giving up hope of finding a pastor here and he came around the front of the church to find 3 cars, inside 3 hungry souls who were blessed to be his divine appointment from our loving God. To sit in the presence of Jesus Christ and hear the most amazing biblical sermon and non-sugar coated Christian truth, challenged by his very words to explode out of the boxes we had been living in and keep our eyes on God’s ways not the world’s ways, convicted for the failures of all who claim to be God’s “church” and starkly seeing we have fallen so far from the simple truths and heavenly design of what it means to LIVE Christianity was a lot to chew. All of this out of the mouth of an “unchurched, ragged, tired, overlooked and unwanted” man, who indeed was Jesus in disguise. A Jesus that loves so greatly that He himself had come to open our eyes and teach us in the most beautiful “truck-driver” fashion imaginable! A blessing and a test in one blue jogging suit package.
Can I just say how much I love how the Lord speaks, works through ANYTHING and ANYONE & moves in peculiar ways to push you outside your comfort zone, to take great risks in “His name” so you may be BLESSED BY HIS GLORY when you receive the TRUTHS of His word into your heart!
This past Sunday as I sat in church and listened to Pastor Bob’s sermon on James 1:22-25, 27 [Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.] and I was taken back to Africa with the mention of that scripture, widows and orphans. Although I know the definition of orphan is far greater than my ‘experience’ in Africa I fondly and longingly remembered my time with Jesus there and my love for those who are his most precious children. I sat in our church on Sunday thinking to myself how I would long for the intensity and reality of my experience in Africa to meet me here in Minnesota. The very next day I received an answer to that cry of my heart to love on one of God’s orphans, how magnificently beautiful is that.
Thank you Lord, that the 3 of us had a beyond-blessed opportunity to be present with You last night in tangible, living form. If that was not enough, thank you even more-so for the opportunity to LIVE Your word and show Benjamin Alan Best the love of Jesus Christ through TRUE Christianity so one day he may not only be your vessel to reach the world but he will RECEIVE you in his heart and recognize You to see how you have chosen him and used his life for a purpose far greater than he could imagine. Last but not least I want to thank you Jesus for filling me with more of You so I could love not through words but with action and in truth(although imperfect, impatient and with widow’s might) you could use a life as small as mine.
It is my pleasure and honor to pour out to you what He pours into me. What I learned last night from my 1 hour and 20 minutes with Jesus in the flesh of Benjamin Alan Best was more than I have learned in the past year. How embarrassing (and convicting) is it to see that 40 minutes into my "divine date" I lost interest for a few moments and denied the presence of my Lord to check the clock to see "how long He was going to be"...FORGIVE ME. Thank YOU LORD for dealing with me! The Lord uprooted and exposed so many weeds in the garden of my heart I could write for a week!! The Lord used my own family whom I have labeled and written off as "non-christian" to reveal God's own values planted in my heart through them, not church. Most obviously and loudly he dealt with my growing inclination to fall prey to the World's greatest sin of man's "religion" and how far I've wandered from child-like faith that I had once known. I had subconsciously began to "rate" denominations of faith according to my "liking" and JUDGE! The Lord burst that ignorant balloon to smithereens by having Benjamin's recorded 'sermon' on "repeat" mode ~ not because he was stuck in a tyrant of his own judgement and anger after all, it was because I had to hear it dozens of times to rise above the offense, receive with an open heart, open my DEAF EARS, recognize God's voice and CRY TO HIS PEOPLE in those words and take a stark look in the mirror to see my own shortcomings ~ this time not forgetting what my reflection looked like. God truly and powerfully reminded me, it never was his design for denominations = it's supposed to be "one church" who is God's bride living in constant relationship with Him and serving in His love to...
every.single.person.
no questions asked, just LOVE supernaturally and extravagantly and in this you will become "Christian" aka "little Christs" and your gift will be joy and fellowship with God Himself.
So it is with honor I close this post with Benjamin's parting gift to us, just as it is, just as he is, just as God has planned to use him. His blog titled "the lost soldier", his candid journey through the U.S. over the course of 4+ years on a bike(with 9 months to go) and his discovery that we are truly unworthy of all who have innocently paid the price for us with their lives, beginning (which should have been the ending) with Jesus Christ."
2 comments:
Seriously... his last name is Best! He's a member of the Best family. Definitely a mind-blower! The Lord reaches out to us in amazing ways and it's awesome that you were open to it! Thanks for sharing your blessing with us.
Hi Maria. I know this post is nearly 4-years old, but I just ran across it doing a google search for Benjamin Alan Best, who rode into my life this evening. He was exactly as you described him and I spent nearly 2-hours listening to him "preach."
I've read a lot of other posts and it seems that people are offended by Benjamin. That wasn't my experience. I was humbled and honored to have spent my evening with Jesus in the flesh of Benjamin Best. Thanks for your brilliant post.
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