can you hear Him? I just wanted to jump on here quickly to celebrate how He whispers sweet nothing's into my ear when I need to hear Him most and I fall head over heals in love with this God of ours in brand new fashion each morning.
I've been struggling again as of late and obviously as you've all witnessed too busy to tend to my blogging and my African heart. I look at my African heart placed on the shelf, as the dust collects so do the tears, for I'd rather my heart beats for Africa than for American chaos most days. I have one of the most important stories of our entire journey to share next and I'm procrastinating again, until I can find a silent moment to revel in the memories and be consumed by emotions. I want most of all for this blog to do justice to the one blessings that God used to gloriously ruin my heart and kick start my passion for ministering to Rwanda's beautifully precious people. Time is short these days both at home & work so I haven't had a still moment in many weeks. But I will share soon....for now, I give you this preview and hopefully by the end of this week you'll know just how precious this answered prayer is to me.
On my journey into work this morning I was feeling bogged down, carrying a heavy load of unnecessary garbage again and feeling the exhaustion that comes along with trying to fight the good fight all on my own. So I told myself on my extended morning commute (which I had been previously GRIPING about for the past week thanks to construction delays) that maybe God is giving me extra time to call on Him each morning and realize I'm not supposed to be fighting the good fight ~ ON MY OWN, darn control issues! Now that my commute extended from 20 minutes to 45 minutes, I finally gave way to my stubbornness and welcomed this revelation on this morning's drive. When I jumped in the car this AM crabby, late, rushing and in a complete fluster I told myself to stop in for a hot chocolate and demanded I learn to enjoy this 45 minutes instead of racing in frustration like all last week. See for a busy fool like myself, often my car ride to & from work is the ONLY time I dedicate to Jesus, singing, praying, rambling on and on, whining, whatever...just good ole Maria + Jesus time...no cell phone, no garbage news, no kiddies hollering, no distractions. This time has grown more & more precious to me every day and on days when life is so busy I can barely catch my breath ~ I live for quiet moments in the car that can not be avoided no matter how crazy my day is...it still takes at least "20 minutes" to drive from point A to point B when you live in Buckman.
These days I've been struggling to find that connection and that dedicated time just for God ~ I long to feel the intensity and beauty of knowing God is with me always and feel His touch on my life in magical butterflies in my belly kind of ways. Today I put my foot down on my pesimitic attitude and said "Maybe God is giving you extra time to call on Him since you so obviously need it to work outta this funk you have going on, girl!"....and on my way to work this AM it took me all 45 of those minutes to get to my "good place" and stomp out the negativity that was ruling my mind. Once I reached that good place a thought crossed my mind and I pondered the ultimate gift I could receive from God this morning and as the thought came to me my heart instantly giggled with delight; I dreamed of an email from my Rwandan friend Jean Claude who I have not heard from in 2 weeks. I thought, if only I could hear from him, I could drift back to Rwanda again and God can help prepare me for my big, big, big Rwandan presentation to our Sunday School kids coming this week and my ever-so-important blog post about Jean Claude and his amazing life.
Know what I found this morning when I checked my email, an answered prayer! A greeting from Jean Claude, yet another amazing Rwandan soul that has changed me from the inside out. He cherishes me(and my family) as if I hold the world in my hands while ministering in the tiny, little, very miniscule ways I can to him and his "Best Family" back in Rwanda. Little does he know how he truly ministers TO ME with each beautiful, prayerful, simplistic, scripture filled, broken-english, God sent email. There's not one single doubt God uses Jean Claude and "The Best Family" to nourish my soul just as he's using me, Donny and our family to nourish their kindred souls. It's quite the beautiful woven thread of hearts, homes, families and faith when God stands in the gap.
Our latest correspondence was Jean Claude asking to know more about my family so His prayers could certainly include my WHOLE family. (These Rwandan's are PRAYER WARRIORS let me tell you!) So two weeks ago I shared my family dynamics in Rwandan fashion ~ including my parents, siblings, in-laws, grandparents and of course precious two boys. I sent pictures of Boston and Zach as Jean Claude eagerly requested I share photos. His response today was sharing more information about his own family:
Here I send you the pictures of my mother, my young brother(Adolfe) and I. Another of some of my Best Family children. Adolfe was very happy to see his brothers(Boston and Zach). Greet them, adolfe said.
And in a second email shortly thereafter he began with this:
How are your PARENTS and Adolphe's brothers(Boston and Zach) and your church family and the children of your church? my GOD leads their life as I wish deeply! and we greet them so much. Adolfe was very happy to know you (I explain to him). Greet his brothers and the children of your church. adolfe said.
And my heart danced because of this answered prayer ~ the best possible medicine I could've received God delivered a mighty dose just in time!! I am blessed!
Soon you will know all about Jean Claude, this "Best Family" I speak of and how God used them to gloriously ruin me!! Soon!
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