I'm reading Heidi Baker's newest book "Compelled by Love". Somehow the Lord just speaks to me through her words and her books and so I'm addicted to whatever materials the Baker's produce! I just wanted to share with you all a superb paragraph from the foreword of this book written by Bill Johnson, who is another guy that can write a darn good book! Anyway, these words summed up something so phenomenal to me, I had to share. I just can't find words to describe my seemingly long struggle to transition back into "normal" life AFTER Africa and this guy's story gives me great comfort that at least I'm not the only one!
A friend of mine went to Mozambique, Africa, to spend a couple of weeks helping the Bakers in their ministry. When he returned home, he found himself breaking down and weeping for no apparent reason. He then realized he was crying because he "missed Jesus." His days of being with Heidi and her ministry were so overwhelmingly like the days when Jesus walked on the earth that he was forever ruined for any other lifestyle. The realization that he was no longer in that atmosphere made him weep for what he was missing. Oh, that there would be more tears of desperation for what could be.
This paragraph speaks volumes to me on many levels but I won't bore you with every detail. I love that I've finally found words to my unexplainable weeping and longing for all things Africa. It's because while in Africa, Jesus showed His face to me and ruined me for any other lifestyle! I have a hard time understanding so many things that changed inside me. It is crazy what happens when you find that desperation in your soul for something "more" and that heart cry is answered by GOD HIMSELF. The presence of His overflowing love is not easily understood by our small little brains and certainly not easy to consume or contain! Which is His plan all along ~ to fill you to overflowing so you have no choice but to spill His love all over the place! Quite frankly, what I've learned is this, God's touch...ruins you. It is the most beautiful way to live; ruined, wrecked, a mess, every minute of every day...fluttering about in chaos not having one desire for control, longing desperately for the constant presence of Jesus Christ in your life, your heart and your soul. This is how I find myself living now and I've never enjoyed my life more. This is how God wants each of us to live, in Him and forever with Him. If we'd just slide outta the driver's seat for but a minute to invite him to take the wheel...my how the view would be different from the passenger's side, the drive would become a journey to embrace and not control. The sights would be indescribable and the joy in your heart would be immeasurable.
Toss Him the keys, He's just waiting for the invite...what would one joyride hurt? I promise you'll never wanna drive again!
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