Don't close the curtain yet....

I have one more post relating to our experience at AHope that has been heavy on my heart since my eyes were captivated by the little girl's smile in this photo and the story that surrounds it. This photo destroys the old saying "a picture's worth a thousand words" and demolishes the definition of the word "priceless". There are no words on this earth that do justice to the value of this photo...


Since this is not really "my" story to tell, I'm going to preface this entry with some confessions. I took the liberty of borrowing this pic from my friends ~ as you've noticed two of their very beautiful faces in the picture ~ before asking permission, I'm hoping they don't mind! EEK! I also want to note I didn't get the opportunity to let this little girl change my life like she truly affected many others on our team. My path did not "cognitively" cross hers until the end of our day where I did get the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to pray for her. That is how God put her on my heart just as deeply as He tied her to our entire team's heartstrings. With double knots and fancy girly bows...this girl is attached to all of us. Sadly, I do not even know her name so for the sake of my "story" I'm going to call her Hope, for that seems the most appropriate title for this lil diamond.

Hope was another beautiful face in the line-up of many shy girls we encountered when we first came bouncing into AHope's playground. I imagine she warmed up to us in due time along with all the other girls and busily enjoyed all the activities. I may or may not have had the privilege of painting her, I simply do not know (for that lack of memory, I'm greatly saddened). I know other team mates have notable memories of their time shared with Hope. So why is Hope heavy on my heart you ask? Why must I dedicate an entire post to a little girl I didn't get the chance to even play with? Because Hope's story is one of heartbreaking reality and the first time that very reality check slapped me sternly in the face. Hope's battle with AIDS affected her time as a joyful little girl embracing childhood and I seen with my very own eyes the evidence of her little body fighting to stay alive.

I don't have Hope's "story" from beginning to end, but what I *think* I know of her story is that she's a very sick little girl, she tires easily and so she often slips off to bed very early(I'm talking afternoon), quietly, unnoticed, alone, with no one to comfort her or hold her as she battles pain and sickness. She curls up in a tiny ball and lulls herself to sleep in a state of discomfort with no mom to be found. Could you imagine being 9yrs old and sick without a mom to hold you? Unfortunately or fortunately most of us cannot imagine this. So how could we even stop to imagine for one second what it must be like to be 9yrs old and dying all alone without a mom to hold you? How Hope came into my life and affected me was when I was in the midst of our tour of their home, we came loudly and boisterously crashing into the bedroom where little Hope lay motionless, sleeping, curled up in the fetal position in the furthest corner of her tiny bed close to the wall, no blankets on her to snuggle her in, no jammies, no mama, no comfort. When did this beautiful little girl sneak away from all the fun we were having and become overwhelmed by her sickness? None of us knew how long she had been there but the mood in the room instantly fell to silence. Many team members knelt down beside Hope and caressed her back. There was no response from Hope. Our team felt moved in this moment to cry out to Jesus and ask for his presence and his healing touch to flood down upon our dearest Hope. We gathered together in prayer because that was the greatest gift of comfort we had to offer.

So this picture is golden beyond measure to me for now I have a memory of Hope with a smile. I can see her beautiful eyes and her perfect little face and I can try to stop the image of a lifeless, tiny, frail, curled little body of pain from plaguing my memory. There is a reality to AIDS and in the face of Hope it struck me like a mack10 semi-truck for the first time; every single hand I held, face I touched, smile I shared, giggled I heard will be a child on the same journey as Hope's. It pains me to embrace this reality yet God keeps reminding me I have to. So I dedicate this post to Hope and the "hope" she brings to my life. I stretch my arms out to Jesus and I cry to him for Hope. I feel you all should do the same so I bring Hope's story to this place so you too can see her smile and her beautiful eyes and her perfect little face. So your dreams can be haunted too by the face of Hope and your prayers too can be prayers of hope for Hope's future. May you join me in prayer for every single child whose story is just like Hope. Even though I know God's hand is upon them, I cry out to him asking that He embrace them with the comfort that only our mom's can give when our bodies are weak and sick and love is the best medicine. So many times in my life my mom was the greatest doctor I had ever known! If no mama is there for Hope, may she feel God Himself curled up beside her in the furthest corner of her bed. May He be that blanket that tucks her in and the jammies that keep her warm. May He be the healing hand placed warmly upon wherever her frail body aches with sickness and heal her with His mighty touch. May each child know that they are never alone and God is always by their side. May all your prayers include Hope....