Sundays...

Are seriously shaping up to be the most anticipated day of the week for me! Sunday went from last place to first place in my book of favorites! I used to think of Sunday as "my last day off before going back to the grind" and now I look at it as "GET ME TO CHURCH ~ What kind of message does Jesus have for ME today ~ I NEED His message!"

I thought last Sunday was the blockbuster of the year for me so I was a bit surprised this past week when the excitement starting building for another big Sunday extravaganza a few days before the weekend was approaching. I seriously could not blink Saturday away fast enough so I could get my eager butt to church on Sunday morning to soak up all the blessed messages that were waiting to dance into my soul. Some how I knew there was a hidden gem awaiting me, I couldn't place my finger on it...but the excitement was there none-the-less.

We arrived at church on time (so many firsts in my world these days) and Pastor Bob's message was amazing as always ~ I've come to expect nothing less from him now than jaw-dropping, goosebumpy, magical messages pertaining to my personal circumstances. His newest series began last week and the title is "Traveling Light" ~ Donny and I both giggled thinking 'you ain't kidding buddy we're living out of a back pack for 12 days, so we are learning all about every possible definition of that phrase!' But obviously his messages are relateable on a much "higher" level than the literal reference we were joking about. And his messages perfectly blend with our preparation for this trip on a spiritual level.

I found it odd this past Sunday that service was rearranged a bit from it's normal 'routine' and half-way through I found out why as Pastor shared our service on this day, being the "5th Sunday" of the month, was going to accommodate specialized prayer for healing and anointing. As those words were rolling off his tongue my eyes simultaneously gazed upon those exact words in the bulletin and instantly I felt this jolt like a lightening bolt surge through my body. I had no clue what was happening to me and I was afraid to look up as I was imaging the sight my be similar to one transforming into an alien! I didn't need any healing that I knew of so what the heck was going on here? My "insides" were going NUTS, I was tingling and these hot flashes were tormenting me like electrical currents! I was becoming more embarrassed by the second and knew for certain I must have been 10 shades of red. It is so hard to justly explain. I thought I was losing physical control of my body and my mind was next in line; I didn't dare look at anyone as I was desperate to contain myself from freaking out. So Pastor announced this invitation to the congregation "Would anyone be willing to join me up front at the altar and participate in the anointing and prayer for people"....okay seriously, my "body" wanted to jump up, flailing my arms, screaming like my name had just been called out on the Price of Right game show while running down the aisle of the church clapping and cheering like it was Bob Barker standing up there not Pastor Bob. BUT my MIND was HORRIFIED that my BODY was doing this to me. Seriously, I kept thinking STOP IT! I do not need to be drawing attention to myself and no one else is standing up and volunteering so I most CERTAINLY WILL NOT be the first "rookie" to jump up, yet my BODY was not understanding this concept of rationale my brain why trying to communicate. I just kept tingling, the surges of energy were only FUELED by my fear and anxiety. So Pastor explained the process of how we'd form the prayer "line" and proceeds to say a second time "anyone willing to join me up front to help pray and anoint"....okay by this time I seriously think I was cracking at the seems and separating into two entities. I wished more than anything I had a bottle of super glue so I could attach myself permanently to my seat! I physically began to tremble, my knees and legs were shaking wildly and I thought an explosion was nearing if I didn't "do something" soon to "fix this problem". So 3 volunteers stood up to join Pastor at the altar, not one of them was Maria ~ NO WAY ~ my brain was NOT going to lose this battle...I am FREAKING OUT IN SHEER TERROR at this point that somehow I will not be able to get out of this and I will end up in the front of that church somehow beyond my control. Pastor then says a 3rd time "Are you sure this is everyone who wants to join us, anyone else?" So now I'm doing the "dance" in my seat and my brain is starting to transform into thinking "Maria, you have to get up there, he's pretty much calling you out RIGHT NOW, you chicken!" But fear was still winning over anything, some how I was physically dancing around yet frozen solid. Donny looked at me and said "are you alright, do you have to go to the bathroom?" Thanks hun ~ I'm not 4yrs old...I wouldn't hold it long enough that my only option is to do the 'potty dance' in my chair ~ but that is what I looked like! Oh how lovely, I'm sure! Just then, Pastor prefaced his invitation to begin this prayer line with the words "If anyone would like to come through the line for their own anointing and prayer THEN join with us, that would be fine too, know that is an open invitation". I felt as though he was saying "Maria, you scared lil baby, how can I lure you up here!" Well, that worked as I lost control of my physical self I literally tossed our sweet baby to Donny and said "look out, I have no idea what's going on here, but I HAVE TO GET UP THERE. I HAVE TO GO UP FRONT, RIGHT NOW!" and I rushed to the altar like a maniac ~ first in line for an anointing and I immediately joined the prayer chain and spent the next 25 minutes fumbling my way through anointing & praying over the people in our church. What a shock to my comfort zone! Man alive I feel I need to personally apologize to every innocent church member that fell pray to my horrendous rookie prayers! Something deep inside shoved me up to that altar but I was still up a creek without a paddle since I didn't truly know how to pray for people and praying out loud only causes my tongue to fumble even more! Most of my prayers started and ended with a squeaky "Umm, ummm"!! I bet they all felt so very comforted and "healed" ~ good grief their poor souls! Oh dear Lord, if you are gonna drop me in the middle of this ocean, throw me a life jacket so I don't run around making a complete fool outta myself!! I'm sure he's getting a kick out of watching me squirm! ;)

Stay tuned for the next episode of how Maria spontaneously finds new & exciting ways to completely embarrass herself in the name of our Savior!!