In preparation for this trip there were a few standout scripture passages that seemed to find me in various ways on multiple occasions. One that sparked my interest immediately from first glance was Matthew 25:40 when Jesus says:
“Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me-you did it to me.”
I found these words deeply inspiring yet I had absolutely no clue how these red letters of Jesus Christ himself would impact my little life like a tidal wave engulfing a sandcastle until many days later.
So I find myself obsessively reminiscing about the day on the bus riding home from the donkey excursion. Having just encountered something magnificently powerful praying for a beautiful woman, I sat silently in my seat gazing out the window trying to imagine what I just witnessed and consume the intensity of what I just felt. As we’re cruising along at what I guess to be a very bumpy 60mph, this one single man catches my attention out of the corner of my eye in a momentary glance. When I reference “caught my attention” I mean it in a fashion that something physical stirred inside my heart and in that moment of a simple blink of my eye where he managed to squeeze into my view, I felt this deep longing to connect with this man. As quickly as I seen him the moment passed and I felt helpless ~ I thought to myself instantly how do I attempt to reach this man from the inside of a speeding bus?!? We’re zooming on by; he’s just a face in the crowd! I kind of thought this one is a little beyond my means, I don’t know what I'm supposed to do?!? Before we even reached a mile beyond this man who was sitting on his shoe shining crate nestled in a crowd of 8-10 shoe shiners, the thought came and went and I figured it was just a missed opportunity beyond my control. WELL… that’s when the bus began to slow down…actually we kind of abruptly stopped and began to reverse. I wondered what on earth the driver was doing and simultaneously I *knew* this was my 2nd chance to do something about the man “outside the window”. The bus began to back up into this gas station, so it appeared to me we were stopping for gas(which is not a quick process) ~ what a divine appointment the Lord had granted me so I could fulfill His plan. As we were slowing I peeked out the window to keep my eye on this man waiting for the bus to finally stop.
This man was no ordinary man, he was incredibly special. This was a man whom I would have never in my lifetime had the courage nor the strength to even look in the face in my “prior life”. If I had met this man walking on the streets of Little Falls just a mere 6 weeks prior to this day ~ July 9, 2008, I would have probably become physically uncomfortable to the point of illness. If I had met this man on the street, I would not have been able to stomach looking at him because I am so weak in the face of deformities, open sores, bleeding, ect. I simply can not handle these things ~ they make me faint. But here, on this day, at the very instant I laid eyes upon this man, a man who had no smile, no lips, who’s skin had deteriorated away graphically exposing his gums, bones and teeth of his jaw line; A man who’s pain and suffering was evident on a very visible level; A man’s face that was not an easy sight to take in; This was the man that I felt an instant connection to. The connection that lured me to him was the same type of energy flowing through me before to prompt my attention and spark a reaction but there was another feeling that flooded through me at the very same moments and that was a deep feeling of love connecting to this man. Where was this coming from?!? Anyone who knows me, understands how this could only be a supernatural, miraculous event unfolding; Firstly because I’m incapable of freely “showing love and affection” to my very own loved ones. I have a very reserved and some might say “cold” heart, so it is unbelievable that a stranger could spark this deep of a drive in me in an instant. Secondly, my physical limitations surrounding blood, sores, open wounds and the like are enough to shut the lights out on Maria’s top floor. This alone proves I was literally incapable of doing this by my own free will and of my own power! When the bus stopped I knew I couldn’t miss this opportunity for anything so I immediately asked Amanda if *we* could get off the bus for just a few moments to pray for someone. Of course she agreed, I looked at her and said “so who wants to come along?” Because I was truly horrified of praying for this man, I longed so deeply to touch him and pray for him yet I was sooo incredibly intimidated by having to actually PRAY for him. She quickly said “no one else, just you, I will go too and Hannah will come to translate”…oh the nerves at this point could have shaken my bladder EMPTY ~ if you know what I’m saying!!
So we walked up to the man and at this moment of connecting with his eyes I no longer felt the intense fear and nerves yet my body was trembling like I had the severest case of hypothermia you’d ever seen. Thank goodness Amanda was with to help guide me along or I would’ve been lost in this moment for eternity. She advised me to seek his shoe-shining services and pray for him while he shined my shoes so that we wouldn’t create an all out spectacle. I thought that was a perfect idea! So I sat my quivering body down upon his withered, crooked little wooden crate for a seat while trying to contain my leg convulsions from scaring these poor people to death. I thought how on earth can he shine my shoes if he can’t even catch my feet?! We asked if I could pray for him and I told Amanda I needed to hold his hand. So imagine me sitting, nearly convulsing from head to toe, this man in front of me kneeling on the ground next to my feet looking up at me while I’m looking down to him. The instant he lifted his hand up to connect with my extended hand awaiting his like inviting a hand shake something indescribable occurred inside of me, outside of me, through me, surrounding me….a love so deep the word LOVE does not do justice started manifesting and pouring out in a completely silent, personal connection between us yet undeniably evident in a physical presence surrounding us. It was as if only the two of us existed in a different realm. I held this man’s hand and caressed the back of his hand while attempting to begin a prayer for him. It was almost instantaneous upon sitting on his chair that we engaged in this unbreakable gaze. The connection so deep it was as though there was no limit to how far you could see inside of these eyes, through his soul and beyond into something heavenly. I was awestruck by this powerful movement of love engulfing the both of us that I was nearly speechless and dumbfounded. I remember I was supposed to be praying so I began by telling this man that Jesus wanted to heal him, it was the first thing on my mind. Obviously, this man needed healing in a physical way, but by the second time these words rolled off my tongue I felt that this man needed a much deeper healing. He needed healing of his heart, his soul and his spirit, it was crying out to me and I recognized the same cry from my own heart and spirit when trapped in a similar darkness not all too long ago. I think I told the man Jesus wanted to heal him a couple times, I told him that Jesus didn’t want him to feel pain. Then I was lost in the intensity of this interaction between us and there was silence for a bit. These eyes that were looking at me were not just eyes, I can’t even find words to describe it. I could simultaneously feel the depth of this man’s unbreakable stare into my eyes as I was returning the same intense gaze into his eyes. Then I mumbled the words that would shatter my world, my soul, my heart and my human knowledge of the power of love…somewhere from inside of me I felt compelled to tell this man how much Jesus loved him. I said it to him as if it was the first time I had ever heard it, or felt it or shared in it. I repeated myself a couple times and then I was moved to share with him the biggest gift he needed to know…Jesus thought he was beautiful. He WAS, he IS, you are and I am ~ WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL. The most unlikely candidate held the highest honor of beauty beholding my eyes on that day, in that moment, from inside my heart channeled through my soul into my eyes...I seen his beauty. Plain and simple the purity of his beauty captivated me. Every time I remember these moments when I said these words I lose my composure and I weep like a baby because this was soo incredibly deep and real. This experience was supernatural and well beyond anything I could have done on my own and I longed so desperately in this moment for this man to know how truly beautiful he was and how he was touching my life, changing my life. By this time I couldn’t see anything of this man’s face but his eyes, that’s all I can truly, vividly, remember of this encounter ~ his eyes were the most extraordinary eyes I have ever seen. No words of beauty describe the depth ~ no words at all can do justice to this man. I was lost inside this gaze between us, I sat silently not knowing what to say or pray, mezmerized by the intensity of what was surrounding me. As this man was staring into my eyes I remember a momentary thought where I secretly cried out in my own heart “God, let him see you ~ please if he can see anything in this moment through my eyes ~ let him see YOU.” and I continued to be enamored by this young man’s stare, the intensity of our connection and when the silent pause became too long Amanda gently encouraged me to end my prayer and let him shine my shoes. Although I NEVER, EVER wanted to break away from the stare I held with this man and never wanted to stop holding his hand and feeling this love, I knew I should end my prayer because I wasn’t even saying words anymore…so I said Amen and I sat there in a drunken status from the love I just encountered while this man shined my muddy, cheap, half-plastic ,donkey riding, insignificant, Walmart shoes completely oblivious to what kind of miracle just unfolded before me. We paid the man for his services and went on our way back to the bus, this entire encounter maybe lasted 5 minutes at the most but in my mind it feels more like weeks and days, time is so unnecessary and incapable of labeling how LONG and how DEEP this experience was.
It’s when I came home and began to reflect upon this encounter that the full impact of the miracle started to reveal itself to me. There’s a very good reason these eyes haunt me, in my dreams, behind my eyelids when I blink, I can not forget these eyes and I would NEVER EVER want to. Every moment a memory of my encounter with those piercing eyes finds me, I’m overwhelmed with emotion and I weep instantly. I sob because of the beauty, the warmth, the compassion, the grace and the intensity of the love I felt at that moment. That very same love I can feel by simply reminiscing about my experience. It’s right there, so vivid I can tap into that emotional water fountain nearly any second of the day and feel the overwhelming sensation flood through me. It’s when I came home and seen that very same scripture that a divine revelation occurred in my soul: Matthew 25:40:
“Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me-you did it to me.”
The Spirit prompted me to know beyond doubt that man was very special. I jumped off that bus hostage of my own nerves thinking I had something to offer that man with my prayers, knowing I couldn't miss this moment a second time. I thought *I* could do something to heal his heart and share Jesus with him but what I know now is that even if God was using me for His glory to show this man the depth of supernatural love, the surprise is that He was using this man to show love to me! This grungy, dirty, poor, deformed, overlooked and ignored man was my gift of beauty. God wanted to show ME the power of His supernatural love. Why those eyes haunt me so deeply is because that was Jesus looking back at me from inside those dreamlike entrancing brown eyes. I believe with all my soul:
I. seen. Jesus.
When he showed me his face and gazed at me with eyes of a love so intense it pierced my soul I learned so much about our Lord from experiencing Him in living color. His beauty is blinding; His love is mesmerizing; His touch is addicting; His power will melt you. The simplicity of His plan for each of us is brilliantly perfect. I can not believe how miraculous these 5 minutes of my life were: because I stopped for the one. A sentence like this from Heidi Bakers book about God’s love: “He knows how to love His beloved until they feel loved.” rings in my ears like bells from heaven ~ YES! YES! He truly does know just how to reach each of us if we simply let Him. I recognized something in this stranger through the bus window ~ it only took an instant for me to *know* we shared the same pain inside our heart, the same hopelessness without Jesus, so I jumped at the chance to share that very love and hope I had found and knew this man deeply deserved. Because I stopped for the one Jesus showed his face to me and blew my tiny world apart like an atom bomb. My perception and reality of this life have been shattered. I have been destroyed, unraveled and completely UNDONE by the love of Jesus Christ our indescribably merciful Savior. As if that wasn’t enough to consume me another scripture found it’s way to me to reveal even more symbolism in this miraculous encounter:
John 13: Jesus washes His disciples feet:
“When He had finished washing their feet, He put on his clothes and returned to His place.
Do you understand what I have done for you?" He asked them.
I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.”
I am overcome by humility in realizing it was Jesus that washed my feet that day and it was Jesus who truly stopped for the one ~ that one was me. How could I not be changed for the rest of my life from this gift.
To be present in a moment where Jesus manifests in a physical way deep enough to change the lives of two strangers who were destined to meet on a dirt street in Ethiopia on an ordinary day July 9, 2008 is all the proof I’ll ever need to know that Jesus is truly more than enough for me and I will never let Him go.
“Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me-you did it to me.”
I found these words deeply inspiring yet I had absolutely no clue how these red letters of Jesus Christ himself would impact my little life like a tidal wave engulfing a sandcastle until many days later.
So I find myself obsessively reminiscing about the day on the bus riding home from the donkey excursion. Having just encountered something magnificently powerful praying for a beautiful woman, I sat silently in my seat gazing out the window trying to imagine what I just witnessed and consume the intensity of what I just felt. As we’re cruising along at what I guess to be a very bumpy 60mph, this one single man catches my attention out of the corner of my eye in a momentary glance. When I reference “caught my attention” I mean it in a fashion that something physical stirred inside my heart and in that moment of a simple blink of my eye where he managed to squeeze into my view, I felt this deep longing to connect with this man. As quickly as I seen him the moment passed and I felt helpless ~ I thought to myself instantly how do I attempt to reach this man from the inside of a speeding bus?!? We’re zooming on by; he’s just a face in the crowd! I kind of thought this one is a little beyond my means, I don’t know what I'm supposed to do?!? Before we even reached a mile beyond this man who was sitting on his shoe shining crate nestled in a crowd of 8-10 shoe shiners, the thought came and went and I figured it was just a missed opportunity beyond my control. WELL… that’s when the bus began to slow down…actually we kind of abruptly stopped and began to reverse. I wondered what on earth the driver was doing and simultaneously I *knew* this was my 2nd chance to do something about the man “outside the window”. The bus began to back up into this gas station, so it appeared to me we were stopping for gas(which is not a quick process) ~ what a divine appointment the Lord had granted me so I could fulfill His plan. As we were slowing I peeked out the window to keep my eye on this man waiting for the bus to finally stop.
This man was no ordinary man, he was incredibly special. This was a man whom I would have never in my lifetime had the courage nor the strength to even look in the face in my “prior life”. If I had met this man walking on the streets of Little Falls just a mere 6 weeks prior to this day ~ July 9, 2008, I would have probably become physically uncomfortable to the point of illness. If I had met this man on the street, I would not have been able to stomach looking at him because I am so weak in the face of deformities, open sores, bleeding, ect. I simply can not handle these things ~ they make me faint. But here, on this day, at the very instant I laid eyes upon this man, a man who had no smile, no lips, who’s skin had deteriorated away graphically exposing his gums, bones and teeth of his jaw line; A man who’s pain and suffering was evident on a very visible level; A man’s face that was not an easy sight to take in; This was the man that I felt an instant connection to. The connection that lured me to him was the same type of energy flowing through me before to prompt my attention and spark a reaction but there was another feeling that flooded through me at the very same moments and that was a deep feeling of love connecting to this man. Where was this coming from?!? Anyone who knows me, understands how this could only be a supernatural, miraculous event unfolding; Firstly because I’m incapable of freely “showing love and affection” to my very own loved ones. I have a very reserved and some might say “cold” heart, so it is unbelievable that a stranger could spark this deep of a drive in me in an instant. Secondly, my physical limitations surrounding blood, sores, open wounds and the like are enough to shut the lights out on Maria’s top floor. This alone proves I was literally incapable of doing this by my own free will and of my own power! When the bus stopped I knew I couldn’t miss this opportunity for anything so I immediately asked Amanda if *we* could get off the bus for just a few moments to pray for someone. Of course she agreed, I looked at her and said “so who wants to come along?” Because I was truly horrified of praying for this man, I longed so deeply to touch him and pray for him yet I was sooo incredibly intimidated by having to actually PRAY for him. She quickly said “no one else, just you, I will go too and Hannah will come to translate”…oh the nerves at this point could have shaken my bladder EMPTY ~ if you know what I’m saying!!
So we walked up to the man and at this moment of connecting with his eyes I no longer felt the intense fear and nerves yet my body was trembling like I had the severest case of hypothermia you’d ever seen. Thank goodness Amanda was with to help guide me along or I would’ve been lost in this moment for eternity. She advised me to seek his shoe-shining services and pray for him while he shined my shoes so that we wouldn’t create an all out spectacle. I thought that was a perfect idea! So I sat my quivering body down upon his withered, crooked little wooden crate for a seat while trying to contain my leg convulsions from scaring these poor people to death. I thought how on earth can he shine my shoes if he can’t even catch my feet?! We asked if I could pray for him and I told Amanda I needed to hold his hand. So imagine me sitting, nearly convulsing from head to toe, this man in front of me kneeling on the ground next to my feet looking up at me while I’m looking down to him. The instant he lifted his hand up to connect with my extended hand awaiting his like inviting a hand shake something indescribable occurred inside of me, outside of me, through me, surrounding me….a love so deep the word LOVE does not do justice started manifesting and pouring out in a completely silent, personal connection between us yet undeniably evident in a physical presence surrounding us. It was as if only the two of us existed in a different realm. I held this man’s hand and caressed the back of his hand while attempting to begin a prayer for him. It was almost instantaneous upon sitting on his chair that we engaged in this unbreakable gaze. The connection so deep it was as though there was no limit to how far you could see inside of these eyes, through his soul and beyond into something heavenly. I was awestruck by this powerful movement of love engulfing the both of us that I was nearly speechless and dumbfounded. I remember I was supposed to be praying so I began by telling this man that Jesus wanted to heal him, it was the first thing on my mind. Obviously, this man needed healing in a physical way, but by the second time these words rolled off my tongue I felt that this man needed a much deeper healing. He needed healing of his heart, his soul and his spirit, it was crying out to me and I recognized the same cry from my own heart and spirit when trapped in a similar darkness not all too long ago. I think I told the man Jesus wanted to heal him a couple times, I told him that Jesus didn’t want him to feel pain. Then I was lost in the intensity of this interaction between us and there was silence for a bit. These eyes that were looking at me were not just eyes, I can’t even find words to describe it. I could simultaneously feel the depth of this man’s unbreakable stare into my eyes as I was returning the same intense gaze into his eyes. Then I mumbled the words that would shatter my world, my soul, my heart and my human knowledge of the power of love…somewhere from inside of me I felt compelled to tell this man how much Jesus loved him. I said it to him as if it was the first time I had ever heard it, or felt it or shared in it. I repeated myself a couple times and then I was moved to share with him the biggest gift he needed to know…Jesus thought he was beautiful. He WAS, he IS, you are and I am ~ WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL. The most unlikely candidate held the highest honor of beauty beholding my eyes on that day, in that moment, from inside my heart channeled through my soul into my eyes...I seen his beauty. Plain and simple the purity of his beauty captivated me. Every time I remember these moments when I said these words I lose my composure and I weep like a baby because this was soo incredibly deep and real. This experience was supernatural and well beyond anything I could have done on my own and I longed so desperately in this moment for this man to know how truly beautiful he was and how he was touching my life, changing my life. By this time I couldn’t see anything of this man’s face but his eyes, that’s all I can truly, vividly, remember of this encounter ~ his eyes were the most extraordinary eyes I have ever seen. No words of beauty describe the depth ~ no words at all can do justice to this man. I was lost inside this gaze between us, I sat silently not knowing what to say or pray, mezmerized by the intensity of what was surrounding me. As this man was staring into my eyes I remember a momentary thought where I secretly cried out in my own heart “God, let him see you ~ please if he can see anything in this moment through my eyes ~ let him see YOU.” and I continued to be enamored by this young man’s stare, the intensity of our connection and when the silent pause became too long Amanda gently encouraged me to end my prayer and let him shine my shoes. Although I NEVER, EVER wanted to break away from the stare I held with this man and never wanted to stop holding his hand and feeling this love, I knew I should end my prayer because I wasn’t even saying words anymore…so I said Amen and I sat there in a drunken status from the love I just encountered while this man shined my muddy, cheap, half-plastic ,donkey riding, insignificant, Walmart shoes completely oblivious to what kind of miracle just unfolded before me. We paid the man for his services and went on our way back to the bus, this entire encounter maybe lasted 5 minutes at the most but in my mind it feels more like weeks and days, time is so unnecessary and incapable of labeling how LONG and how DEEP this experience was.
It’s when I came home and began to reflect upon this encounter that the full impact of the miracle started to reveal itself to me. There’s a very good reason these eyes haunt me, in my dreams, behind my eyelids when I blink, I can not forget these eyes and I would NEVER EVER want to. Every moment a memory of my encounter with those piercing eyes finds me, I’m overwhelmed with emotion and I weep instantly. I sob because of the beauty, the warmth, the compassion, the grace and the intensity of the love I felt at that moment. That very same love I can feel by simply reminiscing about my experience. It’s right there, so vivid I can tap into that emotional water fountain nearly any second of the day and feel the overwhelming sensation flood through me. It’s when I came home and seen that very same scripture that a divine revelation occurred in my soul: Matthew 25:40:
“Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me-you did it to me.”
The Spirit prompted me to know beyond doubt that man was very special. I jumped off that bus hostage of my own nerves thinking I had something to offer that man with my prayers, knowing I couldn't miss this moment a second time. I thought *I* could do something to heal his heart and share Jesus with him but what I know now is that even if God was using me for His glory to show this man the depth of supernatural love, the surprise is that He was using this man to show love to me! This grungy, dirty, poor, deformed, overlooked and ignored man was my gift of beauty. God wanted to show ME the power of His supernatural love. Why those eyes haunt me so deeply is because that was Jesus looking back at me from inside those dreamlike entrancing brown eyes. I believe with all my soul:
I. seen. Jesus.
When he showed me his face and gazed at me with eyes of a love so intense it pierced my soul I learned so much about our Lord from experiencing Him in living color. His beauty is blinding; His love is mesmerizing; His touch is addicting; His power will melt you. The simplicity of His plan for each of us is brilliantly perfect. I can not believe how miraculous these 5 minutes of my life were: because I stopped for the one. A sentence like this from Heidi Bakers book about God’s love: “He knows how to love His beloved until they feel loved.” rings in my ears like bells from heaven ~ YES! YES! He truly does know just how to reach each of us if we simply let Him. I recognized something in this stranger through the bus window ~ it only took an instant for me to *know* we shared the same pain inside our heart, the same hopelessness without Jesus, so I jumped at the chance to share that very love and hope I had found and knew this man deeply deserved. Because I stopped for the one Jesus showed his face to me and blew my tiny world apart like an atom bomb. My perception and reality of this life have been shattered. I have been destroyed, unraveled and completely UNDONE by the love of Jesus Christ our indescribably merciful Savior. As if that wasn’t enough to consume me another scripture found it’s way to me to reveal even more symbolism in this miraculous encounter:
John 13: Jesus washes His disciples feet:
“When He had finished washing their feet, He put on his clothes and returned to His place.
Do you understand what I have done for you?" He asked them.
I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.”
I am overcome by humility in realizing it was Jesus that washed my feet that day and it was Jesus who truly stopped for the one ~ that one was me. How could I not be changed for the rest of my life from this gift.
To be present in a moment where Jesus manifests in a physical way deep enough to change the lives of two strangers who were destined to meet on a dirt street in Ethiopia on an ordinary day July 9, 2008 is all the proof I’ll ever need to know that Jesus is truly more than enough for me and I will never let Him go.
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