An introduction to the faces of Hope…

A place on this earth where God’s hand gently cradles his favorite children and the world stops spinning for a brief moment can be experienced inside the walls of a home called AHope.

In hindsight, I imagine my experience on July 9, 2008 at AHope, an orphanage for HIV & AIDS children, could have been magnificently earth-shattering and soul quaking had I been emotionally prepared to soak up all that God had offered me, but my journal entry from that day summarizes very well the mindset that I was trapped in.

“Our first day in Addis was not what I expected of myself. To see the city in the day light was mostly numbing, extremely shocking and a bit surreal for my small town, country girl eyes. I focused mainly on the tragic conditions and the poverty while on spinning wheels trying to let my brain consume the reality of this country. I spent little time with God today and for that I feel disappointed in myself. I feel I have wasted one of my precious days in Ethiopia.”

We arrived at the AHope orphanage (for smaller children) our first morning in Ethiopia with jumpropes, soccer balls, face paints, music, puppets, bubbles, sidewalk chalk and undeserving hearts and I confess I wasn’t sure how to engage in the experience. I was not in the presence of mind to invite God into the driver’s seat to lead and guide me for His greater purpose to touch these children in a spiritual way so I quickly shifted to the instinctual mode I’m most comfortable in; I reverted back to “mom” mode. I embraced these children with the heart, eyes and touch of a mother because that was my natural reaction. I enjoyed them just as if each one’s hand that I held, arm I caressed, cheek I painted, smile I shared and tiny body I embraced was that of my very own child.

My experience on this morning had nothing to do with AIDS or HIV and there was nothing present in my mind or my heart to force me to remember this devastating detail. These children were not defined by an illness of epidemic proportion that we Americans refuse to recognize. These children were not a statistic so huge my eyes cringe at the sight of reading. Wrong or right, AIDS just couldn’t possibly exist in my heart at this moment. These children that I looked in the eyes were simply one thing: KIDS!

They had beautiful faces and tongue twister names. Innocent babes that had chubby cheeks that I yearned to pinch just like my sweet baby Boston. They had belly clenching giggles that filled the air with that heavenly tune all mothers dote on hearing. Their smiles were so huge and so bright the sun's rays dimly failed in comparison. They had energy levels so intense that lazy, out-of-shape Americans like myself had no idea what level of exhaustion awaited. They were KIDS.

So when you look at these photos, please know these are my memories as a proud mother showing off her beautiful children for when these photos were captured it was my pleasure to see myself as their mom if only for a moment in time. Instinctively, I gave them the love of a mother because that was the only gift I had to share in return for the reward of simply knowing them during their short life here on earth.

I realize now what an enormous gift God was giving to me on this morning and I didn’t need to ask him to be present within me for his presence was surrounding me embodied in vivacious little 2-3-4 year olds souls. This experience was God’s gift to ME and it was never my purpose to gift something to these children. He was sharing His chosen children with me, the precious few that are held on high in God’s favor. A place all true-blue Christians long to be, that safe haven where you are held intimately in favor with our compassionate Father. Here I was in the pleasurable company to see with my own two eyes those very lives that shone so brightly with His almighty favor. This day was MY gift. God was welcoming me into his heart, found inside the heart of Africa on this day. God loved me so much He made this unbelievably huge orphanage experience small enough for my fragile heart to consume. He led me inside these doors wearing a comfortable cloak; a mother loving her children. This was how God introduced me to his most precious gems: the orphan with AIDS.

I’m thankful this colossal realization did not hit me until I was home for I know I would have been a useless puddle with tears of humility weeping uncontrollably at this undeserving gift God was blessing my little life with. That is why I am now a mess as I reminisce upon my very first morning in Africa where I thought I had missed my opportunity to share in God’s plan and His hindsight has revealed that I did not miss a thing.

The pictures below are the closest to my heart. This young boy was an obviously sad little man and when we shared our puppet show with the children he was visibly frightened and so I felt I had to snuggle him up in hopes to comfort him from fear.

Well, minutes passed, the puppet show ended and I could not find the strength to part ways with this little guy and it seemed as cranky as he was he wanted to hang on to me as well. So we took out some sidewalk chalk and drew some smiling faces hoping that might prompt him to try out a smile. No such luck. Next we tried some bubbles but they were met with a blank stare of unamused boredom. Just then one of the nannies shared with me that "he's a very unhappy little boy, he never smiles." So my agenda quickly changed from "a smile would be nice" to "I HAVE to find a way to help this boy giggle". He held on to me tighter and tighter as time passed through the course of this morning so I deemed him my little side-kick. Soon, I set out to dig into the face paints so that I could also enjoy all the other children along with my chubby lil grumpy assistant.

To my heartwarming surprise face paints were the magical cure, I painted his fat little hand and he met my eyes with a sheepish smile. At the very same moment one of the nannies caught this rare occasion and responded with excitement "he smiled" and so I painted his other fat little hand and he smiled even bigger and my heart smiled the biggest smile I've ever felt.

Soon our secret was exposed and many of the kids came rushing over to be the next in line for paints and no matter how crazy the commotion I noticed my side kick never left me. He stayed faithfully by my side through the madness of anxious kids and through it all he maintained one of his chubby little hands resting gently upon my knee.

Now without doubt, you can see....this was MY GIFT from God on this morning. I weep when I remember this boy, I don't even know his name but we are forever connected by a special soul tie woven by God Himself between our two hearts. He is the first of my beautiful African babies...I may never see him again and his physical life may be much shorter than mine but I can love him through God for eternity. I find great comfort in knowing God's love for him is greater than any capacity I have inside my heart to love...so although he is labeled an orphan with HIV or AIDS, I know he is so much more and he is taken care of by a magnificent Father...which is the greatest peace a mother's heart can have.

So this was my first morning in Ethiopia. We started out with a bang and the explosions only continued to leave me breathless as the minutes, hours and days rolled onward.

I'll leave you all with very last sight my eyes were set upon before I left the AHope orphange. One that haunts me and simultaneously comforts me. I'm haunted because I know the reality of the possibility that the tiny clothes on that line will not be dressing the same bodies I came to know and love on July 9, 2008 for they might not be there tomorrow. But I find comfort in the fact that one of my favorite smells on this earth is the smell of fresh clothes pulled from the line and I can believe and hope that those clothes WILL be dressing the same little bodies who's eyes, cheeks, faces, hands, bellies, smiles, giggles and hugs meet me in my dreams each night.


Thank you God for this gift you so graciously gave to me!

AHope's story doesn't end here, soon I will share about the second AHope orphanage we visited on July 9th. The home for the older children.