So God has been working in my heart for some time now (guesstimate 3+ years) through photography, it's simply a way He speaks to me. And when I take pictures it feels as though I'm on a scavenger hunt with Jesus, I long to see children with His eyes. I see His beauty inside photos and I love deeply to chase & capture His creation through my perspective (albeit never do Him justice!). Obsessively and most harassingly this love has been cultivated through my two beautiful boys.
But I can tell you something has been rumbling in my spirit for the past year to do "more" with this hobby of mine and I push it off as "second-rate" to my fiery missionary dreams. As recent days have brought me to an unforeseen crossroads of making a decision to actively pursue photography (as in formal training) or leave it in the hobby "basket" and be content I have found myself in a tornado of spiritual activity. I have prayed fervently for the Lord to speak to me. My ideal dream of all dreams would be to cultivate this skill technically and let Him use me creatively so I may glorify our God through photography as a means of ministry.
The teeter totter I have been on the past couple months on trying to discern His will for me has been ferocious. I don't think I have been this "confused" by any other "God dream"...I have blindly chased the Lord with a child's heart, jumping both feet in, head first and never looking back. But, this time the decision has been one of long contemplation, hours of prayers and beautiful lil kisses of promise from my heavenly Father.
The most recent of which has been me all but haphazardly landing upon this most amazing opportunity in the "nick of time" just as I landed on an opportunity to jet off to Africa "in the nick of time". It's funny that my heart's cry has been consistently "I only want to do this Lord WITH YOU, I only want to pursue this with zeal if it is YOUR will for me and ONLY if it can be OF YOU FIRST & FOREMOST!! I surely don't need another "thing" to keep me BUSY!" As often as I've prayed that, I've let go completely of the dream/plans to proceed numerous times until I find an OBVIOUS open door from the Lord. Well, check this site out and tell me friends, if it can get any more obvious than this!
http://www.fortheloveworkshop.com/
This workshop is absolutely too good to be true. God, you are just too good to me. I love how it sings in my spirit in Bill Johnson wisdom about how God just longs to love on us and show us His goodness for no other reason that He is good. Ask and you shall receive, I simply can not believe these two passions of mine could blend together so beautifully and be offered unto me like a neatly wrapped gift!
And so for the most amazing Christmas gift imaginable...my husband has given his blessing to chase after this next God adventure with his support. So I am bloggin to share about this amazing workshop to include you all on how God had been romancing me these days, months & years to a place of "action" and also to enter a chance to win a free spot at this workshop! Pray with me friends that the Lord will continue to make a way!! Beyond that, I want to invite anyone who is a Photog buff to jump in on this conference as well!! I couldn't imagine anything more awesome than embarking upon this with a fellow friend! Seriously, go check it out...it's simply amazing, and share it will all your Jesus loving photography friends!!
Monday, December 28, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
Christmas Songs
Every year when the radio stations start threatening to play Christmas music upon the arrival of Thanksgiving, I cringe because I'm not ready for the year to be flying by so rapidly and gone in the blink of an eye and it reminds me of how far behind I usually am as well...no one enjoys those reminders! But every year to my surprise there is that ONE Christmas song that captures my heart, and leaves me a sloppy mess of emotion when I become still enough to cherish the reason for the season.
This year it would be this precious tune that I heard for the first time!! I hope you all enjoy it as dearly as I have!
This year it would be this precious tune that I heard for the first time!! I hope you all enjoy it as dearly as I have!
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
December Devotion
I am just inspired beyond words as I hear my Father speaking to the depths of my heart inside this message I came to share. This devotional that I receive each month from Patricia King's ministry, XPMedia is too good not to pass along this month!!
Written by Lorrie Myers and singing with the voice of Jesus into my heart!!
Think about being “in love” for a minute. Remember that intense, wonderfully sweet feeling of first loving someone – and being loved back. It’s such a raw feeling, it makes your heart leap and your feet barely touch the ground!!! It envelopes your entire being like a warm blanket. Ahhh, the early first stages of love that enrapture and enfold us!
Unfortunately, most of us were taught that those early feelings of love couldn’t last, and that love is a commitment, not just a feeling. There may be some truth to these statements, but then why does Scripture tell us to return to “our first love”?
“But you walked away from your first love – why? What’s going on with you, anyway? Do you have any idea how far you’ve fallen? A Lucifer fall! Turn back! Recover your dear early love.” —Revelations 2:4-5 The Message
I think the Lord knew how easily we would ‘fall out of love’ with Him. We tend to be so goal- and success-oriented, especially in our North American culture, that before we even know it, we’re back into striving and performing, trying to please God with what we do. We even fall to a place of manipulating and controlling others so they contribute to our own agenda. All of these actions are certainly not from a place of love!
We may say, “Of course, I know that God loves me, I’m a believer, aren’t I?” But we can so easily relegate this love to a mere form of theology: God is love and “Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.” But do we fully experience and live in that love to its fullest? I know I don’t. But bit by bit, He’s teaching me and opening up my heart to receive more and more of His love. Wow, I thought I had already understood this, but obviously there’s still more love to get!!!
How do I know I need more of His love? Any time that I’m frustrated, I know I need more of His love. Any time that I want to control a situation to achieve my own ends, I need more of His love. Any time my goals or “my ministry” becomes more important than loving the person in front of me, I need to experience more of His love. Any time I fall into worry and anxiety, I need a greater revelation of His love and His care for me.
The really hard part for a doer-and-achiever like me is that I can’t force myself to love better. I can only ask Him to reveal His love to me in a greater measure and for His help in staying in first-love with Him. One song I have been soaking in these past several months has been Kim Walker’s version of “How He Loves Us.” (YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoC1ec-lYps) Talk about getting a love-hit through that song, again and again!!
All I then have to do is to let that love grow in me and be extended to those around me. The fruit of the Spirit is LOVE. And brace yourself for some wild theology – LOVE IS AN EMOTION WE EXPERIENCE!!! In fact, did you notice that the first three fruits of the Spirit are all emotions-based: love, peace and joy. Am I talking about a flimsy “only if everything around me makes me happy” kind of emotion? Certainly not. But love, peace and joy from the Father are heartfelt emotions, experienced deep in our spirits. That’s where we can learn to live from, regardless of what is happening around us.
How much do we lose sight of this love? We pursue our goals and our dreams, and that may be fine and good. We attempt to reform our society, and that may be fine and good. We want our ministry to be more influential in the sphere around us, and that may be fine and good. EXCEPT when these things become first, and love falls to second. Then we’re in trouble – we have not kept the first thing, first. And His love must always come first, otherwise we will start to use, manipulate and control people, even as sincere and honest believers.
Now, especially during this Christmas season, let the reality of the incarnation be made fresh and alive through the eyes of love – that God’s perfect love became flesh, demonstrated in Jesus, in order to show us how to live our lives out of a place of intense and pure love.
“I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them, even as you have loved me. I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.” John 17:23,26
Oh, Lord Jesus, help me to learn what You taught and modeled: to be in love with You, and then to love others with that same love You’ve shown me.
From there, everything else will fall into place. Whether our dreams are fulfilled, or whether they shatter. Whether our expectations of our spouse are met or whether they’re not. Whether our kids succeed, or whether they struggle. Whether our ministry moves forward or whether it shuts down. Whether our “giftings” are recognized or whether we’re ignored. His love will become the foundation of our lives and then we’re okay, no matter what happens.
“Go after a life of love as if your life depended on it – because it does!”
—1 Corinthians 14:1 (The Message)
Live loved. Live in love. Love others.
Written by Lorrie Myers and singing with the voice of Jesus into my heart!!
Think about being “in love” for a minute. Remember that intense, wonderfully sweet feeling of first loving someone – and being loved back. It’s such a raw feeling, it makes your heart leap and your feet barely touch the ground!!! It envelopes your entire being like a warm blanket. Ahhh, the early first stages of love that enrapture and enfold us!
Unfortunately, most of us were taught that those early feelings of love couldn’t last, and that love is a commitment, not just a feeling. There may be some truth to these statements, but then why does Scripture tell us to return to “our first love”?
“But you walked away from your first love – why? What’s going on with you, anyway? Do you have any idea how far you’ve fallen? A Lucifer fall! Turn back! Recover your dear early love.” —Revelations 2:4-5 The Message
I think the Lord knew how easily we would ‘fall out of love’ with Him. We tend to be so goal- and success-oriented, especially in our North American culture, that before we even know it, we’re back into striving and performing, trying to please God with what we do. We even fall to a place of manipulating and controlling others so they contribute to our own agenda. All of these actions are certainly not from a place of love!
We may say, “Of course, I know that God loves me, I’m a believer, aren’t I?” But we can so easily relegate this love to a mere form of theology: God is love and “Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.” But do we fully experience and live in that love to its fullest? I know I don’t. But bit by bit, He’s teaching me and opening up my heart to receive more and more of His love. Wow, I thought I had already understood this, but obviously there’s still more love to get!!!
How do I know I need more of His love? Any time that I’m frustrated, I know I need more of His love. Any time that I want to control a situation to achieve my own ends, I need more of His love. Any time my goals or “my ministry” becomes more important than loving the person in front of me, I need to experience more of His love. Any time I fall into worry and anxiety, I need a greater revelation of His love and His care for me.
The really hard part for a doer-and-achiever like me is that I can’t force myself to love better. I can only ask Him to reveal His love to me in a greater measure and for His help in staying in first-love with Him. One song I have been soaking in these past several months has been Kim Walker’s version of “How He Loves Us.” (YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoC1ec-lYps) Talk about getting a love-hit through that song, again and again!!
All I then have to do is to let that love grow in me and be extended to those around me. The fruit of the Spirit is LOVE. And brace yourself for some wild theology – LOVE IS AN EMOTION WE EXPERIENCE!!! In fact, did you notice that the first three fruits of the Spirit are all emotions-based: love, peace and joy. Am I talking about a flimsy “only if everything around me makes me happy” kind of emotion? Certainly not. But love, peace and joy from the Father are heartfelt emotions, experienced deep in our spirits. That’s where we can learn to live from, regardless of what is happening around us.
How much do we lose sight of this love? We pursue our goals and our dreams, and that may be fine and good. We attempt to reform our society, and that may be fine and good. We want our ministry to be more influential in the sphere around us, and that may be fine and good. EXCEPT when these things become first, and love falls to second. Then we’re in trouble – we have not kept the first thing, first. And His love must always come first, otherwise we will start to use, manipulate and control people, even as sincere and honest believers.
Now, especially during this Christmas season, let the reality of the incarnation be made fresh and alive through the eyes of love – that God’s perfect love became flesh, demonstrated in Jesus, in order to show us how to live our lives out of a place of intense and pure love.
“I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them, even as you have loved me. I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.” John 17:23,26
Oh, Lord Jesus, help me to learn what You taught and modeled: to be in love with You, and then to love others with that same love You’ve shown me.
From there, everything else will fall into place. Whether our dreams are fulfilled, or whether they shatter. Whether our expectations of our spouse are met or whether they’re not. Whether our kids succeed, or whether they struggle. Whether our ministry moves forward or whether it shuts down. Whether our “giftings” are recognized or whether we’re ignored. His love will become the foundation of our lives and then we’re okay, no matter what happens.
“Go after a life of love as if your life depended on it – because it does!”
—1 Corinthians 14:1 (The Message)
Live loved. Live in love. Love others.
Monday, November 9, 2009
A fresh touch!
In the few years now that I’ve come to know the Lord in an experiential way, I’d like to believe in my hunger for his presence I’ve been exposed to some mind boggling adventures with God. I tell you there is nothing that I love more than the moment in an encounter with God that surpasses anything you can intellectually comprehend, rationale checks out and you instantly know by the breath of life into your spirit it's Jesus literally touching you and HE is becoming YOUR experience, HE’s becoming YOUR story. It’s surreal. Truly, a holy moment where time stands still, the world fades away and it’s you & your Father embracing. This is “the stuff” that makes my heart skip a beat!
October 28-30th I was blessed with a chance to chase Jesus over in Baltimore, Maryland. What I experienced at the Voice of the Apostles conference was yet another glorious moment in the supernatural where the Lord placed His hand upon me in new ways and ruined the cozy little box I had built for Him to live inside. You know that Jesus of mine, I love Him dearly but no matter how many times I remodel the size of my box, He simply grows too big to fit inside it…like a St. Bernard staring at Kleenex box pondering “how on earth does she expect me to fit inside there?” The gracious host-in-training that I am, I get to work(subconsiously of course) on a new bigger & better box one after another completely oblivious to my unnecessary laboring. I’m so glad the family bond between Jesus & I is intimate enough that He just lets me know with His gentle, loving [ahem, explosive] touch that my cardboard accommodations are simply inadequate for the size of His glorious presence! So another box was blown to smithereens the other week and I am “wrecked”. IT.IS.GOOD!!
I found it to be beautiful to have the coherent presence to recognize my spirit leading me to take note of the depth & variety of ways the Lord was showing His face over the course of the 3 days. With six of my all-time favorite Christian mentors(okay, okay, my Jesus Superheroes) gathered together in one place, collectively bringing their supernatural individual anointings together for a powerful corporate touch of God was an experience beyond anything words could describe. I’m simply ruined for anything else but Jesus! My heart’s burning desire is my previous sentence be the biography for everyone He sets before me ~ if I'm ruined...then you will be too! :)
As each ‘apostle’ preached the Lord’s presence was released upon the room like different fragrances of the same sweet perfume that just resonated from them. All they did was love one another like an inseparable family to a dimension that I have never witnessed in-real-life because it was a collision of supernatural & natural bonding ~ it looked like heaven. And together they did what they do best, they stood on a stage in front of thousands of people and loved on Jesus, that’s it, they loved Him each in their own way and it was an invitation that He wouldn’t refuse! And I sat on the floor beneath this stage like a child just yearning to be touched, hungry to share in the intensity of that fragrance of love… and I did…because He touched me. In three short days Jesus became a physical experience in my life in greater depths than I had known before; I could tangibly FEEL His compassion and I wept like never before; I could FEEL His consuming love for me and I was overwhelmed; I could FEEL His immense power like electricity physically shocking my body and it blew my tiny mind(oh and it hurt); I could FEEL the profound depth of His forgiveness and it melted me into a puddle; I could FEEL His zealously jealous heart in pursuit of more of my love as if I were the only one who could love Him; I could literally FEEL His intoxicating joy as my Father solidifying my understanding of Him as absolute goodness in its entirety; I could FEEL His hunger to lavish heaven’s riches upon us, His kids, if only we’d awaken to see the gifts sitting before us unopened, unexplored. Some of these experiences were brand new for me and some were intensified from anything I had experienced prior. To receive all that in 3 shorts days is completely exhausting and simultaneously refreshing beyond measure. I was so physically drained and so spiritually charged when I left I thought I might spontaneously combust!
I tell you friends, if what I've written above doesn't describe your Jesus....there is more, there is so much more!! Hunger for that EXPERIENCE and He will not turn down your invitation!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Wordless
I can't seem to find words these days to even begin to describe the journey I'm on with God. Indescribable, but so worthy of sharing! I can however share with you the words I have been hearing from the Lord; risk, bold, tenacious, love, blindly. And I can tell you it's left me WORDLESS when I listen and follow!
I pray, that when I even catch enough air to formulate words for my own journal, that at some point the Holy Spirit will eloquently wrap up this amazing ride I'm on with the Lord in some form of chapters to present here so I can share all He's doing inside me and around me these days, which have become months, which all seem to me like moments!
Today, I found this video that is just another reminder from God...on this ride, I shall not hang onto the beam!! Check it out, it's good stuff!
Again, no luck on direct posting so here's the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LA_uwWPE6lQ&feature=player_embedded
I pray, that when I even catch enough air to formulate words for my own journal, that at some point the Holy Spirit will eloquently wrap up this amazing ride I'm on with the Lord in some form of chapters to present here so I can share all He's doing inside me and around me these days, which have become months, which all seem to me like moments!
Today, I found this video that is just another reminder from God...on this ride, I shall not hang onto the beam!! Check it out, it's good stuff!
Again, no luck on direct posting so here's the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LA_uwWPE6lQ&feature=player_embedded
Friday, September 25, 2009
Wow.
This moves me, deeply. I can't get it to directly play here, but it's worth watching.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4NlyZqJhwk&feature=player_embedded
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4NlyZqJhwk&feature=player_embedded
Thursday, September 17, 2009
More often than not
The best things are said by someone else!! :) Oh my how this prayer deeply inspires me! Written by some guy named Scott Smith that I just so happened to be 'lucky enough' to find today!
“To those who have been called, who are loved by God the Father and kept by Jesus Christ: Mercy, peace and love be yours in abundance” (Jude 1-2).
Glorious Triune God, on this Lord’s Day I’m smitten afresh with gospel-astonishment. As I ponder your immeasurable and irrepressible goodness towards me, and all your people, in Jesus I’m driven to silence and compelled to shout, all at the same time! Truly, you are unrelenting in your attention, lavish in your affections, and extravagant in your provision.
You didn’t just invite me to become a Christian, you called me and adopted me as your own child. Now I call you, Abba, Father, as the Holy Spirit continues to free my heart from its orphan-like ways. Thank you Father, that because of the work of Jesus, you will never love me more than you do today and you will never love me less! What wondrous love is this indeed!
Lord Jesus, help me to grasp your grasp of me. I am both kept by you and for you. Nothing can pull me from your hand, nor tear me from your heart, Jesus. Many times this seems too good to be true, but it is all the assurance that I need to face the rest of my life, even the next hour.
Indeed, Holy Spirit, bring from the throne of grace into my heart and story, an abundance of mercy, for I am a foolish man; peace, for I am a broken man; and love, for I am a selfishness man. Be praised on this Lord’s Day, and every day, O glorious and grace-full God! Very gratefully, Amen!
“To those who have been called, who are loved by God the Father and kept by Jesus Christ: Mercy, peace and love be yours in abundance” (Jude 1-2).
Glorious Triune God, on this Lord’s Day I’m smitten afresh with gospel-astonishment. As I ponder your immeasurable and irrepressible goodness towards me, and all your people, in Jesus I’m driven to silence and compelled to shout, all at the same time! Truly, you are unrelenting in your attention, lavish in your affections, and extravagant in your provision.
You didn’t just invite me to become a Christian, you called me and adopted me as your own child. Now I call you, Abba, Father, as the Holy Spirit continues to free my heart from its orphan-like ways. Thank you Father, that because of the work of Jesus, you will never love me more than you do today and you will never love me less! What wondrous love is this indeed!
Lord Jesus, help me to grasp your grasp of me. I am both kept by you and for you. Nothing can pull me from your hand, nor tear me from your heart, Jesus. Many times this seems too good to be true, but it is all the assurance that I need to face the rest of my life, even the next hour.
Indeed, Holy Spirit, bring from the throne of grace into my heart and story, an abundance of mercy, for I am a foolish man; peace, for I am a broken man; and love, for I am a selfishness man. Be praised on this Lord’s Day, and every day, O glorious and grace-full God! Very gratefully, Amen!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Some good medicine!
I am still by all accounts of eternity known as a babe in diapers inside my walk with Christ, this is not news to me nor probably you. BUT, I will say...I've been around long enough to really start to enjoy some good humor about all-things-Christian! A dry sense of humor with a slice of sarcasm can really make me roll on the floor in delight...so I just absolutely love this site:
http://stufffchristianslike.blogspot.com/
Admittedly, it's been on my stalking radar for a really long time...but ya know every time it made the 'random' rotation to be surfed...there was never a picture posted to lure me long enough to read words because naturally I had 999 other blogs that I COULD be checking in on that probably had a doozie of a photo posted! Today, for some reason...I read and I LAUGHED, so I read MORE and my laughter turned into serious belly wigglin gigglin! And that was some GOOD MEDICINE for me today!! So I had to share!
http://stufffchristianslike.blogspot.com/
Admittedly, it's been on my stalking radar for a really long time...but ya know every time it made the 'random' rotation to be surfed...there was never a picture posted to lure me long enough to read words because naturally I had 999 other blogs that I COULD be checking in on that probably had a doozie of a photo posted! Today, for some reason...I read and I LAUGHED, so I read MORE and my laughter turned into serious belly wigglin gigglin! And that was some GOOD MEDICINE for me today!! So I had to share!
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Is it fall in your life?
Is it fall in your life? It happens to everyone more than once. It's that time in your life when you work through struggles, encounter an obstacle or get wounded by the events of life.
Fall is that time in life when the leaves fall off, all those things that give color and meaning to life fall away and become meaningless in face of a present difficulty. It is a tough place to be. It is also a good place to be – when everything falls to the ground, you get a chance to see who you really are – the real structure of your life and where changes need to be made. Ask God to give you the courage to see the real structure of your life and where changes need to be made. Jesus is the key.
-Sister Thomasine Schmolke
Fall is that time in life when the leaves fall off, all those things that give color and meaning to life fall away and become meaningless in face of a present difficulty. It is a tough place to be. It is also a good place to be – when everything falls to the ground, you get a chance to see who you really are – the real structure of your life and where changes need to be made. Ask God to give you the courage to see the real structure of your life and where changes need to be made. Jesus is the key.
-Sister Thomasine Schmolke
Monday, August 10, 2009
Inheritance
Wow, I just absolutely LOVE THIS, if each one of us would just consume what the Lord is trying to say in these words ~ we'd be so free!
Monday, August 3, 2009
I dare you or me?
Hmmm, I see this video as an invitation from my Lord for deeper intimacy, total abandonment and real trust, the kind you can't turn back on to seek your own solution. This video coming to me at a time in my life when God is revealing something to me that I can not understand in its fullness ~ or as God puts it in His Word, "more than I can now handle". I revel at the risk involved in this invitation and the irony at how many times I've prayed over others that faith is spelled R.I.S.K. when I promise them that the Lord will catch them if only they jump. I wonder how my life might change if I dare accept the challenge of these words as though it was my Father whispering in my ear...
Francis Chan
And I wonder if you can hear His voice speaking to you in this as well?
Francis Chan
And I wonder if you can hear His voice speaking to you in this as well?
Friday, July 31, 2009
Ordinary Miracles
Mid July we attended the Sonshine Christian Music Festival in Willmar as our family "camping" trip for the year. I think the Lord stole my baby's heart and hopefully his destiny by our immersing him in the midst of non-stop worship for 3 days! I think my baby boy may become a mighty man for God, worshipping our Jesus with all he has, wherever he goes and I just LOVE the glimpse the Lord gave me into what that might look like!
Truly, God just romanced me in this moment ~ walking into the house after work, turning on the radio and finding my sweet baby raising his hands in the air, celebrating our beautiful Jesus!
Oh how the Lord loves the pure in heart with child-like faith! ;)
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Disney Land with Jesus?
I'm not good at posting links and all that jazz but you all need to totally check out this video! I heard this story in a sermon from Bill Johnson and it made me giggle like a school girl, now to see the video of the June 11th revival at Disney Land is so awesome! Over 100 miracle healings in the food court at Disney Land ~ that's the life for me!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rpdoge4KSug
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rpdoge4KSug
Friday, July 10, 2009
God's Calendar
June 27th seem to become an almighty important date on my calendar of events from early on in the year of 2009. It was the day I was honorably celebrating my dearest childhood friend's wedding as one of her bridesmaids. What seemed ever-so-odd to me was how this date seemed to arise over & over again throughout the course of my Spring. Mostly this date became known to conflict with just about every single “God opportunity” that was coming my way. I had to say no to a mission trip to Africa that I would’ve sold my kidney on the black market to attend because the dates conflicted. Then two really attractive conferences in California & Brazil seem to find their way into my viewfinder with my absolute favorite Jesus mentors leading and of course this too seem to conflict with the special date so I had to pass. A Jesus camping trip came & went on the table to options falling off the list because of dueling dates. There was no doubt in my mind, my commitment to my friend and the privilege to share in her day trumped all things, but man alive WHY must all these opportunities for Jesus that send my heart into instant fluttering palpitations conflict with such a concrete date that the Lord knew I would not compromise?? What did this mean? I don’t believe in coincidence and certainly even if one did, turning down 5 different things that all revolve around one date would have you guessing…what…on…earth…is the deal here? Does the world around me just have bad yearly planners or what?! I wondered and even pouted that these dates and events could not just stretch out a little bit more to accommodate me a little better! :) Essentially I came to peace with the idea that the Lord MUST have a doozie of a mission for me at this wedding, right?!? Naturally, that would be the deal since I had to say no to Jesus stuff to be in this wedding celebration…and surely God knows the desires of my heart to celebrate both my dear friend and HIM! Hmm, we’ll just have to see what unfolds as each day passes by.
So as the month of June progressed, I had some amazing dates with Jesus and he was certainly finding ways to love on me (as he so often does) in my small little world of Buckman, MN! One particular night was June 8th when I had the opportunity to combine two of my favorite things; praying for the women in my bible study group and attending Monday Night Prayer night at my church. One woman in particular that I have been thoroughly enjoying the journey of prayer with is my friend KC. We’ve had all to similar of a life journey. On the day the Lord administered his divine appointment for KC and I, I met KC in the front of our church, at the altar, before the Lord in prayer as strangers to learn she knows my heart and I hers and we connected in our pain to know instant kinship. She happened to be in the midst of great pain and loss due to multiple miscarriages and now the unexplainable experience of infertility when God ordained for us to meet last year. Soon he arranged for us to be in the same bible study so we could grow together. Over the course of this year I’ve had the privilege of watching her mature into her God given destiny and spiritual nourished life and it’s almost as if God’s given me eyes to watch my own journey unfold through her eyes, a supernatural seat behind the camera to see “me” in “her” as if he rewound the tape for me to enjoy his view of my life not all that long ago.
Okay, back to the calendar. This particular night on June 8th, she came to join me at my Monday Night Prayer meeting. As I’ve come to depend blindly upon the Lord and just expect him, he showed up in a powerful way that night as he often does, ruining both me & her in our intimate moments with Him, wrecked by the glory of his powerful love. I was given the gifted opportunity to pray for her like no other time before(and I have spent countless hours in prayer with her over the past year). God spoke so heavily through me and used me in all my weakness to release a powerful promise over KC that the glory alone of His words traveling through me left me in a state of drunken bliss from the touch of his hand, the whisper of his voice, the extension of his love, a kiss from the father to heal a broken child’s wound funneling through lil ole me. In this indescribable moment of frozen time He spoke his word that Psalm 128 was to be a part of his promise and new covenant with KC. I had never heard, nor seen, Psalm 128 in my life but it flew out of my mouth with such passion that I had to shout it with our without my consent it just came out. I grabbed my bible and set my eyes upon these irreplaceable words for the first time:
Psalm 128
How joyful are those who fear the Lord—all who follow his ways!
You will enjoy the fruit of your labor.
How joyful and prosperous you will be!
Your wife will be like a fruitful grapevine,
flourishing within your home.
Your children will be like vigorous young olive trees
as they sit around your table.
That is the Lord’s blessing for those who fear him.
May the Lord continually bless you from Zion.
May you see Jerusalem prosper as long as you live.
May you live to enjoy your grandchildren.
May Israel have peace!
Look again, read twice, can you see it? Can you see the beauty of the promise from our Lord to a woman who has mourned the loss of 5 children who were stolen from her womb?! Can you see the new covenant being born of these words and the destiny she’s about to receive!! Immediately upon praying these words into her life, I nearly ran to the corner to hide like a dog with its tail between it’ legs because the POWER in the promise intimidated the LIFE outta me and I pleaded with him that it didn’t just randomly come from my brain. I begged the Lord that HE show this to KC, that HE meet her in every way imaginable to confirm the new covenant He’s promised in Psalm 128. Fast forward to that Sunday, she meets me at church in excitement and shares with me the Lord had sent her Psalm 128 THREE MORE TIMES that week in the most random ways she had no choice but to believe!!!! Beautiful, Thank YOU JESUS for your faithfulness! Fast forward another week to Father’s Day when KC meets me in the prayer room after Sunday mass and reveals to me; she’s pregnant and she just learned it 10 minutes before coming to church that morning. Precisely 2 weeks after we prayed and she received God's new promises. She’s a wreck….so long we’ve prayed for this moment, so much growing she has done to come back to this place with a healed spirit, bandaged heart and so much fear is shoving its way into her soul that it’s choking the life out of the joy & peace that God planted there. We prayed. We soaked in the love of our Father together, for 1 ½ hours we prayed & prayed & prayed until physical exhaustion and cloudy contacts ached in my eye sockets. The Lord MOVED inside that room and in our hearts and doted over his beautiful child like she was his absolute favorite precious gem. He alone eased her fears and revealed that it was HIS gift to her on HIS day, a baby for Father’s day was in his hearts desire. Again, I spent a week ruined by this amazing encounter between us and our indescribable God!
So needless to say, I’m doing good, coming into my “own” and climbing a step up the spiritual ladder during the course of these past couple weeks, being fed immensely by some amazing God moments and filling up my spiritual hunger through some royally awesome sermons of Bill Johnson’s, receiving much revelation of God’s plans in my life and for my life, really walking into a realm of authority in the kingdom that I never knew God was waiting for me to wake up and grab ahold of! Gloriously lost in Jesus land almost all the time, I had fallen away from the calendar of events for June. I recognize mid-week, HELLO, it’s the wedding week…and I’m ON FIRE for GOD, there has to be something GOOD COOKING in heaven’s pot, right?! I go to the wedding, eagerly seeking a divine appointment. I actually had a certain highschool friend on my heart, hoping God would open a door for me to minister to him. I sailed through the day and into the evening with no amazing God moments and I was beyond confused? This “date” felt so important for so many reasons and I thought surely one of those reasons was for God. I closed my evening at this wedding with a short conversation with the very friend I had hoped to see and minister too…to my surprise, he actually ministered to me by making a statement that God used to lift a veil, open my eyes and see my own life in a different light….to appreciate and love someone in my life to a greater degree and so I drove home completely surprised that the whole day was over and there were no “God fireworks” for anyone but me, just a beautifully quiet spiritual moment for me buried inside the words of one innocent sentence. Hmmm, our God is so mysterious.
During this same week, I’m watching my friends be blessed immensely while in the middle of their ’09 mission trip to Africa, which included a stop in Uganda; the very place the Lord first pulled on my heart through the video Invisible Children. My heart is secretly aching that I was not a part of the trip, longing for fellowship with those dear friends I made last year during that amazing experience, hungry for a BIG HUGE GOD explosion like what happened to me in Africa last year BUT I was settling for vicariously living through them as the best seat in the house at this point was Facebook. With each story they shared and photo they posted I reminisced about how God totally changed me & my life through our trip last year. God even had the loving heart to minister to me through one of the teammates who kindly shared with me some of the children that God had sewn into my heart with threads of steel, REMEMBERED ME too and asked for me by name (and entire YEAR LATER)! Oh how my spirit has loved on Tesfae all year long from a helpless place across the ocean blue. God totally knew how to love on me and it blessed me in such a bittersweet moment to hear those words and it broke my heart to an even deeper degree for the sweet street boys of Ethiopia that have never left their home in my heart.
Aside from Africa, back to MN happenings: I didn’t make to church this particular week the wedding took place, and I went to Monday Night Prayer hoping to see my friend KC again since I had an eerie feeling she might be needing some prayer….a week had passed since her monumental (in her eyes, scary) news and I just had a sense but she did not come to prayer night. Well, Tuesday July 1st arrives and I receive an email from KC around 3pm saying “She’s showing severe physical signs of miscarriage and she’s an absolute emotional wreck and she needs prayers.” INSTANTLY the Holy Spirit revved my engines to drop everything and GO TO HER like I was a mama hen protecting a baby chick inside KC’s 'oven'! I KNEW the promises God had made and THIS was NOT IT! So all of us from my women’s group gathered at KC’s home within the hour and we had the most beautiful ministry unfold before our eyes, surrounded by God’s holy nature. We prayed and prayed and grew together in a way that only God could have planned. We fought for this baby and we stood on our promise in Psalm 128 and God’s words of a new covenant with KC. 3 1/2 INTENSELY LONG hours we prayed our hearts out and God supernaturally intertwined our spirits together to be one heart of a mother, one cry of a hurting child, 5 people sharing in pain, sitting together in the mess of the world's cruel circumstances, growing and pressing IN to Him, taking our eyes off the storm in unity and we gathered our faith as an offering to Jesus and we received a double portion in return! IT WAS PHENOMENAL! We met that evening with hurt overwhelming our hearts and we left with peace and laughter flowing from our hearts through our lips as we hugged goodbye with courage and hope in our spirits. It was the most amazing night I have had since I was in Africa last year. It was one of those times where you simultaneously know in spirit when you are experiencing every minute that “this moment will change the course of my life”.
I drove home, worshipping my amazing God and he showed me His heart; “THIS DAY IS WHY: he needed me here, he needed me home” And I could finally see, he used my deep love for my friend and her impeccable planning for wedding dates to keep me home, where I was penciled in on God's calendar to be all along. And I was fulfilled, happy, blessed, honored, ruined, loved, peaceful, grateful, overflowing, joyful and wrecked that THIS MOMENT, shepherding this MOMENT of monumental growth in 5 people’s lives was on HIS CALENDAR for me, not on mine, but truly on HIS ~ all the way back in April & May when I had to say NO to all these splendid opportunities that shouted “God’s DIVINE appointment” and romanced Maria’s heart… he had this moment already on his calendar and he had selected ME, little ole me to be a part of this history changing day, for if I had obliged in any of those invitations I would have missed this moment, I would have been gone out of state and unable to fulfill these destined shoes. I cried big tears of thanksgiving to my God…that his calendar superseded my desires to exceedingly and abundantly surpass my desires and blew my calendar to smithereens!
My ladies and I left parted ways that night from the 3-season porch, after worshipping & praying together for HOURS on end with the knowledge that we had to fight for this baby in prayer for 1 ½ weeks until KC’s doctor appointment. As the next 1 ½ weeks unfolded God radically changed 5 lives that previously met on Sunday’s to commune in his house for an hour of service and 2 nights a month for a bible study group into being 5 inseparable, praying warriors, life-sustaining valves of one heart beating in unison, in nearly constant contact 24 hours a day, soaking in prayer, seeking the face of a relentless God who had destined this day from the beginning! 5 people spiritually grow more in this 1 week than they have in their entire lives and God creates a new standard of living in their hearts, with new eyes to see, new ears to hear and a deeper love for living in Him. Absolute beauty emerging from these ashes, indescribable with human words, but you know if you’ve been there, you know the beauty I’m describing and its breath-taking, especially from the inside looking out. Through the course of this 1 ½ weeks God becomes the glue that solidifies these lives to one another and he makes even more promises that blow our tiny minds. Just this past Saturday God sent a word for KC, through 2 friends of mine, to get to me so I may deliver it to her, which I delivered to her in 6-degrees of Kevin Bacon/Jesus-style! God’s word was that “the womb is healed and it is finished”….the power of receiving that promise nearly destroyed all of us, SHOCK is the only word that summarizes our facial expressions, it was too sweet to hear and too astonishing to dare believe for KC, the lengths that he went to, to reach her alone were enough to wreck our tiny minds not to mention the power in that promise! The answer to all those prayers that fell upon our Father’s ear.
Her physical body continued to show signs of miscarriage and so although we were on a mountain high on Sunday, rejoicing in this promise of God, when we communed together on Monday for Monday Night Prayer, we had to keep strong in spirit that the supernatural would overcome the natural and we knew we needed more soaking in the only place peace was offered = our Father’s arms. We worshipped God together on Monday and bathed in more prayer. We continued via email & texting to be in constant contact the rest of the week, waiting for our glorious moment on Thursday to arrive = the Doctor Appointment. A day of reckoning for KC & her husband….an appointment they had met so many times before to receive the most devastating news of loss in their lives. An appointment notorious for releasing heartache too deep to comprehend. An appointment that held them trapped in fear. The appointment came, we waited holding our breath as our dear KC faced many of her past demons head on when she walked into that room and we all came to know scientific confirmation of GOD’S MIRACLE = a living baby in her womb!! A healthy heartbeat, a fulfillment of His promises, a new convenant and a new beginning with the promise of new life in every context imaginable.
How great is our God….HOW BIG IS OUR GOD….how beautiful is our GOD! I was made to worship this God of ours, this God of miracles…this Father who longs to embrace each of us with such intimacy. Jesus who lives in constant jealousy for each of our hearts like no other. This God who has embraced KC like no one else could. Our healer. This God who longs to do the same for you & I. This God who I have a sacred obsession for…this is the God I was born to worship!! The Lord of my heart. This is MY GOD!
So as the month of June progressed, I had some amazing dates with Jesus and he was certainly finding ways to love on me (as he so often does) in my small little world of Buckman, MN! One particular night was June 8th when I had the opportunity to combine two of my favorite things; praying for the women in my bible study group and attending Monday Night Prayer night at my church. One woman in particular that I have been thoroughly enjoying the journey of prayer with is my friend KC. We’ve had all to similar of a life journey. On the day the Lord administered his divine appointment for KC and I, I met KC in the front of our church, at the altar, before the Lord in prayer as strangers to learn she knows my heart and I hers and we connected in our pain to know instant kinship. She happened to be in the midst of great pain and loss due to multiple miscarriages and now the unexplainable experience of infertility when God ordained for us to meet last year. Soon he arranged for us to be in the same bible study so we could grow together. Over the course of this year I’ve had the privilege of watching her mature into her God given destiny and spiritual nourished life and it’s almost as if God’s given me eyes to watch my own journey unfold through her eyes, a supernatural seat behind the camera to see “me” in “her” as if he rewound the tape for me to enjoy his view of my life not all that long ago.
Okay, back to the calendar. This particular night on June 8th, she came to join me at my Monday Night Prayer meeting. As I’ve come to depend blindly upon the Lord and just expect him, he showed up in a powerful way that night as he often does, ruining both me & her in our intimate moments with Him, wrecked by the glory of his powerful love. I was given the gifted opportunity to pray for her like no other time before(and I have spent countless hours in prayer with her over the past year). God spoke so heavily through me and used me in all my weakness to release a powerful promise over KC that the glory alone of His words traveling through me left me in a state of drunken bliss from the touch of his hand, the whisper of his voice, the extension of his love, a kiss from the father to heal a broken child’s wound funneling through lil ole me. In this indescribable moment of frozen time He spoke his word that Psalm 128 was to be a part of his promise and new covenant with KC. I had never heard, nor seen, Psalm 128 in my life but it flew out of my mouth with such passion that I had to shout it with our without my consent it just came out. I grabbed my bible and set my eyes upon these irreplaceable words for the first time:
Psalm 128
How joyful are those who fear the Lord—all who follow his ways!
You will enjoy the fruit of your labor.
How joyful and prosperous you will be!
Your wife will be like a fruitful grapevine,
flourishing within your home.
Your children will be like vigorous young olive trees
as they sit around your table.
That is the Lord’s blessing for those who fear him.
May the Lord continually bless you from Zion.
May you see Jerusalem prosper as long as you live.
May you live to enjoy your grandchildren.
May Israel have peace!
Look again, read twice, can you see it? Can you see the beauty of the promise from our Lord to a woman who has mourned the loss of 5 children who were stolen from her womb?! Can you see the new covenant being born of these words and the destiny she’s about to receive!! Immediately upon praying these words into her life, I nearly ran to the corner to hide like a dog with its tail between it’ legs because the POWER in the promise intimidated the LIFE outta me and I pleaded with him that it didn’t just randomly come from my brain. I begged the Lord that HE show this to KC, that HE meet her in every way imaginable to confirm the new covenant He’s promised in Psalm 128. Fast forward to that Sunday, she meets me at church in excitement and shares with me the Lord had sent her Psalm 128 THREE MORE TIMES that week in the most random ways she had no choice but to believe!!!! Beautiful, Thank YOU JESUS for your faithfulness! Fast forward another week to Father’s Day when KC meets me in the prayer room after Sunday mass and reveals to me; she’s pregnant and she just learned it 10 minutes before coming to church that morning. Precisely 2 weeks after we prayed and she received God's new promises. She’s a wreck….so long we’ve prayed for this moment, so much growing she has done to come back to this place with a healed spirit, bandaged heart and so much fear is shoving its way into her soul that it’s choking the life out of the joy & peace that God planted there. We prayed. We soaked in the love of our Father together, for 1 ½ hours we prayed & prayed & prayed until physical exhaustion and cloudy contacts ached in my eye sockets. The Lord MOVED inside that room and in our hearts and doted over his beautiful child like she was his absolute favorite precious gem. He alone eased her fears and revealed that it was HIS gift to her on HIS day, a baby for Father’s day was in his hearts desire. Again, I spent a week ruined by this amazing encounter between us and our indescribable God!
So needless to say, I’m doing good, coming into my “own” and climbing a step up the spiritual ladder during the course of these past couple weeks, being fed immensely by some amazing God moments and filling up my spiritual hunger through some royally awesome sermons of Bill Johnson’s, receiving much revelation of God’s plans in my life and for my life, really walking into a realm of authority in the kingdom that I never knew God was waiting for me to wake up and grab ahold of! Gloriously lost in Jesus land almost all the time, I had fallen away from the calendar of events for June. I recognize mid-week, HELLO, it’s the wedding week…and I’m ON FIRE for GOD, there has to be something GOOD COOKING in heaven’s pot, right?! I go to the wedding, eagerly seeking a divine appointment. I actually had a certain highschool friend on my heart, hoping God would open a door for me to minister to him. I sailed through the day and into the evening with no amazing God moments and I was beyond confused? This “date” felt so important for so many reasons and I thought surely one of those reasons was for God. I closed my evening at this wedding with a short conversation with the very friend I had hoped to see and minister too…to my surprise, he actually ministered to me by making a statement that God used to lift a veil, open my eyes and see my own life in a different light….to appreciate and love someone in my life to a greater degree and so I drove home completely surprised that the whole day was over and there were no “God fireworks” for anyone but me, just a beautifully quiet spiritual moment for me buried inside the words of one innocent sentence. Hmmm, our God is so mysterious.
During this same week, I’m watching my friends be blessed immensely while in the middle of their ’09 mission trip to Africa, which included a stop in Uganda; the very place the Lord first pulled on my heart through the video Invisible Children. My heart is secretly aching that I was not a part of the trip, longing for fellowship with those dear friends I made last year during that amazing experience, hungry for a BIG HUGE GOD explosion like what happened to me in Africa last year BUT I was settling for vicariously living through them as the best seat in the house at this point was Facebook. With each story they shared and photo they posted I reminisced about how God totally changed me & my life through our trip last year. God even had the loving heart to minister to me through one of the teammates who kindly shared with me some of the children that God had sewn into my heart with threads of steel, REMEMBERED ME too and asked for me by name (and entire YEAR LATER)! Oh how my spirit has loved on Tesfae all year long from a helpless place across the ocean blue. God totally knew how to love on me and it blessed me in such a bittersweet moment to hear those words and it broke my heart to an even deeper degree for the sweet street boys of Ethiopia that have never left their home in my heart.
Aside from Africa, back to MN happenings: I didn’t make to church this particular week the wedding took place, and I went to Monday Night Prayer hoping to see my friend KC again since I had an eerie feeling she might be needing some prayer….a week had passed since her monumental (in her eyes, scary) news and I just had a sense but she did not come to prayer night. Well, Tuesday July 1st arrives and I receive an email from KC around 3pm saying “She’s showing severe physical signs of miscarriage and she’s an absolute emotional wreck and she needs prayers.” INSTANTLY the Holy Spirit revved my engines to drop everything and GO TO HER like I was a mama hen protecting a baby chick inside KC’s 'oven'! I KNEW the promises God had made and THIS was NOT IT! So all of us from my women’s group gathered at KC’s home within the hour and we had the most beautiful ministry unfold before our eyes, surrounded by God’s holy nature. We prayed and prayed and grew together in a way that only God could have planned. We fought for this baby and we stood on our promise in Psalm 128 and God’s words of a new covenant with KC. 3 1/2 INTENSELY LONG hours we prayed our hearts out and God supernaturally intertwined our spirits together to be one heart of a mother, one cry of a hurting child, 5 people sharing in pain, sitting together in the mess of the world's cruel circumstances, growing and pressing IN to Him, taking our eyes off the storm in unity and we gathered our faith as an offering to Jesus and we received a double portion in return! IT WAS PHENOMENAL! We met that evening with hurt overwhelming our hearts and we left with peace and laughter flowing from our hearts through our lips as we hugged goodbye with courage and hope in our spirits. It was the most amazing night I have had since I was in Africa last year. It was one of those times where you simultaneously know in spirit when you are experiencing every minute that “this moment will change the course of my life”.
I drove home, worshipping my amazing God and he showed me His heart; “THIS DAY IS WHY: he needed me here, he needed me home” And I could finally see, he used my deep love for my friend and her impeccable planning for wedding dates to keep me home, where I was penciled in on God's calendar to be all along. And I was fulfilled, happy, blessed, honored, ruined, loved, peaceful, grateful, overflowing, joyful and wrecked that THIS MOMENT, shepherding this MOMENT of monumental growth in 5 people’s lives was on HIS CALENDAR for me, not on mine, but truly on HIS ~ all the way back in April & May when I had to say NO to all these splendid opportunities that shouted “God’s DIVINE appointment” and romanced Maria’s heart… he had this moment already on his calendar and he had selected ME, little ole me to be a part of this history changing day, for if I had obliged in any of those invitations I would have missed this moment, I would have been gone out of state and unable to fulfill these destined shoes. I cried big tears of thanksgiving to my God…that his calendar superseded my desires to exceedingly and abundantly surpass my desires and blew my calendar to smithereens!
My ladies and I left parted ways that night from the 3-season porch, after worshipping & praying together for HOURS on end with the knowledge that we had to fight for this baby in prayer for 1 ½ weeks until KC’s doctor appointment. As the next 1 ½ weeks unfolded God radically changed 5 lives that previously met on Sunday’s to commune in his house for an hour of service and 2 nights a month for a bible study group into being 5 inseparable, praying warriors, life-sustaining valves of one heart beating in unison, in nearly constant contact 24 hours a day, soaking in prayer, seeking the face of a relentless God who had destined this day from the beginning! 5 people spiritually grow more in this 1 week than they have in their entire lives and God creates a new standard of living in their hearts, with new eyes to see, new ears to hear and a deeper love for living in Him. Absolute beauty emerging from these ashes, indescribable with human words, but you know if you’ve been there, you know the beauty I’m describing and its breath-taking, especially from the inside looking out. Through the course of this 1 ½ weeks God becomes the glue that solidifies these lives to one another and he makes even more promises that blow our tiny minds. Just this past Saturday God sent a word for KC, through 2 friends of mine, to get to me so I may deliver it to her, which I delivered to her in 6-degrees of Kevin Bacon/Jesus-style! God’s word was that “the womb is healed and it is finished”….the power of receiving that promise nearly destroyed all of us, SHOCK is the only word that summarizes our facial expressions, it was too sweet to hear and too astonishing to dare believe for KC, the lengths that he went to, to reach her alone were enough to wreck our tiny minds not to mention the power in that promise! The answer to all those prayers that fell upon our Father’s ear.
Her physical body continued to show signs of miscarriage and so although we were on a mountain high on Sunday, rejoicing in this promise of God, when we communed together on Monday for Monday Night Prayer, we had to keep strong in spirit that the supernatural would overcome the natural and we knew we needed more soaking in the only place peace was offered = our Father’s arms. We worshipped God together on Monday and bathed in more prayer. We continued via email & texting to be in constant contact the rest of the week, waiting for our glorious moment on Thursday to arrive = the Doctor Appointment. A day of reckoning for KC & her husband….an appointment they had met so many times before to receive the most devastating news of loss in their lives. An appointment notorious for releasing heartache too deep to comprehend. An appointment that held them trapped in fear. The appointment came, we waited holding our breath as our dear KC faced many of her past demons head on when she walked into that room and we all came to know scientific confirmation of GOD’S MIRACLE = a living baby in her womb!! A healthy heartbeat, a fulfillment of His promises, a new convenant and a new beginning with the promise of new life in every context imaginable.
How great is our God….HOW BIG IS OUR GOD….how beautiful is our GOD! I was made to worship this God of ours, this God of miracles…this Father who longs to embrace each of us with such intimacy. Jesus who lives in constant jealousy for each of our hearts like no other. This God who has embraced KC like no one else could. Our healer. This God who longs to do the same for you & I. This God who I have a sacred obsession for…this is the God I was born to worship!! The Lord of my heart. This is MY GOD!
Monday, June 29, 2009
Mission team 2009
Pray for our dear mission friends as they finish their ministry in Africa and prepare to come home soon.
http://www.isaiah49.blogspot.com/
Beautiful stories, beautiful faces, beautiful people!!!!
http://www.isaiah49.blogspot.com/
Beautiful stories, beautiful faces, beautiful people!!!!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
MUST SEE!!!
Drop whatever you're doing now and run to grab yourself a copy of this DVD no matter how you have to get your hands on it!
In the name of Jesus you will be RUINED for life, I proclaim it!! :)
In the name of Jesus you will be RUINED for life, I proclaim it!! :)
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
How much humility can one servant handle?...
I think I have received an ultimate new teaching from the Lord on how to be truly humble, painfully humble is possibly a better explanation. Follow along and learn with me...
I’m going to share my latest adventures in my ever-growing opportunities to embrace humility on all levels, levels I didn't even know could exist and I'm sure more levels that will reveal themselves in the future. I’m going to preface this entry with a warning, some content is “inappropriate” and it just so happens that it is what it is so I share it candidly and openly.
Where shall I start, well I guess I’ll go way back to the beginning to make this story nice & long like I seem to do so well in rambling fashion.
Since fully coming to a place in my faith where I just straight-up want to chase Jesus around like Elmer Fudd chases Bugs Bunny trying to capture and hold onto Him, I have struggled with a few “past times” that I no longer see with the same eyes nor the same worldly interest, yet feel the dire value in celebrating with those whom I love in any way they deeply desire.
Subject at hand was to plan a bachelorette party for one of my dearest friends. Those of you who know me well, know I have skills in the computer department to do much damage in vast variety of embarrassment to any degree I wish~ PG to Rated R for any celebration at hand; birthdays-to-bachelorettes. I have been, in the past called upon to “thrive” in this area of total embarrassment and inappropriate bachelorette related shenanigans therefore have gained a reputation as to be the “go-to-girl” for such personalized needs in my circle of friends. As the years have passed and the “wedding decade” of my generation is drawing closer to a lull I have not had to cross the bridge of Jesus’ approval and Bachelorette naughtiness and please both crowds, until now.
As this party drew closer I waited patiently for a good idea to fit everyone’s desires (mostly the Lord’s). I did not want to compromise my morals to exploit raunchiness that accompanies the reputation of “bachelorette parties” of the past or simply in general. The Lord truly helped me meet the need. I had come across a perfect idea to celebrate my special friend in uniqueness, personality, special interests with as much individualized attention and pizazz as I have for all past parties I’ve been handed the pleasure of “sabotaging” with my hair-brained ideas & themes. I had fun preparing this ‘Desperate Housewife-to-be’ themed party in honor of my friend’s addiction to the drama on ABC, where all I needed to plan & decorate was the color red and an apple icon. It was good, clean, fun (this time).
Fast forward this incredibly long introduction; the party came to fruition this past weekend. Beyond my control are the items that other’s were going to bring to share with all of us at the party. With this “luck” I gained the pleasure of biting my tongue to accept the ‘dis’-honor of wearing an inappropriately cartooned version of certain male anatomy around as a name-tag on my dress. It didn’t bother me too much as it was discreetly hidden under my jacket so I went with the “bachelorette” flow of things. What does all this have to do with being “humble”…hang on ~ we’re getting there and surely you’re going to see it all come full circle soon.
Since these festivities took place in Stillwater, we all spent the night in a hotel room Saturday night. Sunday morning as I woke for my long drive home, I was in my car, racing home to my sick baby who I had dearly worried over and severely missed nurturing for the day I was absent from 'mom duty'. As I was driving I realized I needed to get gas relatively SOON. I seen an upcoming BP sign over top the trees calling my name. I pulled off the freeway and behind the shrubbery revealed an abandoned building where a BP once thrived. Ugh, I thought, but I was more intrigued by the greeting of three strategically placed fold-out, portable signs that said “Bethlehem church” with a big arrow that now found their home in the BP parking lot. My heart fluttered a bit and immediately I thought “hmmmm, I totally have a church out-fit packed in my bag” as I was still wearing my windpants & t-shirt PJ’s for the drive home. I decided on a whim to quickly stop at the next gas station fill-up & change then come back to this church that seemed to for "no-apparent-reason or connection" make my heart leap and capture my attention with much interest. By the time I achieved this goal of changing my attire and finding my dress-coat, I walked into the front of this Bethlehem church to realize I was 30 minutes late to the service so I quickly turned around in their entry-way thinking it might be non-sense for me to slip into this church SO late. I went back to my car to continue my drive home but the nagging sensation to "go to church” would not go away. I then remembered a church nearby that I had attended a conference at and decided to go check them out. I realized I was too late for their mass as well but about 40 minutes early for their second service. I called to check on my sickly child once again and heard a good report of him being on the mend so I asked my loving husband if he would mind if I be a bit later than planned so I may attend this church. He agreed and so it was settled in my heart that I would wait for second services to start.
I went in early to this 2nd church, Northern Heights, once I seen the congregation leaving and knew their first service was over. Thought I’d take the chance to mosey around and acquaint myself with their facilities and publications, ect. Finally I entered into their sanctuary to wait for the service to begin and as it did I could not get the nagging feeling of the Bethlehem church out of my mind as if I was “missing something” that might be taking place there. So I followed my gut to “go back” as I was certain their 2nd service would be just beginning. I “snuck” out of the service at Northern Heights as quietly as I could. I arrived fashionably late back at the first church and waltzed into the sanctuary to find a seat. I chose a seat relatively close to the front which was not my plan! As a “stranger” in this church I just wanted to sit quietly in the back ~ but the back was full. Add being 'late' to the plate and I certainly did not want to draw attention to myself by sitting way up in the 10th row of a 30 row+ deep church, but that's where my seat was found none-the-less. I feel the need to just add the random fact that both of these churches were HUGE in size ~ just an FYI ~ so it required much wandering for me to find my way around and I did so at my leisure, crossing paths with many, many people along the way, the revelation and importance of this will be found later in the story.
I sat through service at this church with peace on my heart that I was in the right place, hearing the right message and then I left to come home with a content heart. After my long drive home I came eager to switch back into my PJ’s and be comfortable. Once I reached my bedroom and took off my dress-coat to hang it up my eyes beheld the most terrifying sight I could have possibly ever dreamed to be my living nightmare:
The afore mentioned “derogatory name-tag sticker” had some how made it’s way from one of my friend’s possession’s onto the BACK OF MY COAT, for I had made certain my own sticker made it's way safely to the garbage can immediately after it's need expired, but another seemed to find it's home ON MY BACK! (in plain VIEW)
This, my blog friends, is a huge laugh for you all at my expense if you just take the moment to think about what I truly shared with you! Mostly enjoyable of course is my husband's funny bone as he can barely gain his composure while his sides ache in laughter at the horrid irony of me running around to and fro not ONE but TWO of God's humongous churches with this thing plastered right on my back for all the world to see in all the inappropriateness imaginable!!!!!!! I have to believe the Lord himself must have had quite a chuckle too Sunday morning! What a lesson in humility I learned this weekend. The humility was in “the flesh” but the message has truly penetrated my pride on a spiritual level to the point I am living for quite some time in the 2" tall category.
I hope you all enjoy, because in all honesty it was too good not to share ~ another ~ only Maria type adventure ~ even if it did almost cause me to nearly DIE right on the spot! I am 10 shades of agonizingly deep red in color simply as I write this all for you to giggle over!
I’m going to share my latest adventures in my ever-growing opportunities to embrace humility on all levels, levels I didn't even know could exist and I'm sure more levels that will reveal themselves in the future. I’m going to preface this entry with a warning, some content is “inappropriate” and it just so happens that it is what it is so I share it candidly and openly.
Where shall I start, well I guess I’ll go way back to the beginning to make this story nice & long like I seem to do so well in rambling fashion.
Since fully coming to a place in my faith where I just straight-up want to chase Jesus around like Elmer Fudd chases Bugs Bunny trying to capture and hold onto Him, I have struggled with a few “past times” that I no longer see with the same eyes nor the same worldly interest, yet feel the dire value in celebrating with those whom I love in any way they deeply desire.
Subject at hand was to plan a bachelorette party for one of my dearest friends. Those of you who know me well, know I have skills in the computer department to do much damage in vast variety of embarrassment to any degree I wish~ PG to Rated R for any celebration at hand; birthdays-to-bachelorettes. I have been, in the past called upon to “thrive” in this area of total embarrassment and inappropriate bachelorette related shenanigans therefore have gained a reputation as to be the “go-to-girl” for such personalized needs in my circle of friends. As the years have passed and the “wedding decade” of my generation is drawing closer to a lull I have not had to cross the bridge of Jesus’ approval and Bachelorette naughtiness and please both crowds, until now.
As this party drew closer I waited patiently for a good idea to fit everyone’s desires (mostly the Lord’s). I did not want to compromise my morals to exploit raunchiness that accompanies the reputation of “bachelorette parties” of the past or simply in general. The Lord truly helped me meet the need. I had come across a perfect idea to celebrate my special friend in uniqueness, personality, special interests with as much individualized attention and pizazz as I have for all past parties I’ve been handed the pleasure of “sabotaging” with my hair-brained ideas & themes. I had fun preparing this ‘Desperate Housewife-to-be’ themed party in honor of my friend’s addiction to the drama on ABC, where all I needed to plan & decorate was the color red and an apple icon. It was good, clean, fun (this time).
Fast forward this incredibly long introduction; the party came to fruition this past weekend. Beyond my control are the items that other’s were going to bring to share with all of us at the party. With this “luck” I gained the pleasure of biting my tongue to accept the ‘dis’-honor of wearing an inappropriately cartooned version of certain male anatomy around as a name-tag on my dress. It didn’t bother me too much as it was discreetly hidden under my jacket so I went with the “bachelorette” flow of things. What does all this have to do with being “humble”…hang on ~ we’re getting there and surely you’re going to see it all come full circle soon.
Since these festivities took place in Stillwater, we all spent the night in a hotel room Saturday night. Sunday morning as I woke for my long drive home, I was in my car, racing home to my sick baby who I had dearly worried over and severely missed nurturing for the day I was absent from 'mom duty'. As I was driving I realized I needed to get gas relatively SOON. I seen an upcoming BP sign over top the trees calling my name. I pulled off the freeway and behind the shrubbery revealed an abandoned building where a BP once thrived. Ugh, I thought, but I was more intrigued by the greeting of three strategically placed fold-out, portable signs that said “Bethlehem church” with a big arrow that now found their home in the BP parking lot. My heart fluttered a bit and immediately I thought “hmmmm, I totally have a church out-fit packed in my bag” as I was still wearing my windpants & t-shirt PJ’s for the drive home. I decided on a whim to quickly stop at the next gas station fill-up & change then come back to this church that seemed to for "no-apparent-reason or connection" make my heart leap and capture my attention with much interest. By the time I achieved this goal of changing my attire and finding my dress-coat, I walked into the front of this Bethlehem church to realize I was 30 minutes late to the service so I quickly turned around in their entry-way thinking it might be non-sense for me to slip into this church SO late. I went back to my car to continue my drive home but the nagging sensation to "go to church” would not go away. I then remembered a church nearby that I had attended a conference at and decided to go check them out. I realized I was too late for their mass as well but about 40 minutes early for their second service. I called to check on my sickly child once again and heard a good report of him being on the mend so I asked my loving husband if he would mind if I be a bit later than planned so I may attend this church. He agreed and so it was settled in my heart that I would wait for second services to start.
I went in early to this 2nd church, Northern Heights, once I seen the congregation leaving and knew their first service was over. Thought I’d take the chance to mosey around and acquaint myself with their facilities and publications, ect. Finally I entered into their sanctuary to wait for the service to begin and as it did I could not get the nagging feeling of the Bethlehem church out of my mind as if I was “missing something” that might be taking place there. So I followed my gut to “go back” as I was certain their 2nd service would be just beginning. I “snuck” out of the service at Northern Heights as quietly as I could. I arrived fashionably late back at the first church and waltzed into the sanctuary to find a seat. I chose a seat relatively close to the front which was not my plan! As a “stranger” in this church I just wanted to sit quietly in the back ~ but the back was full. Add being 'late' to the plate and I certainly did not want to draw attention to myself by sitting way up in the 10th row of a 30 row+ deep church, but that's where my seat was found none-the-less. I feel the need to just add the random fact that both of these churches were HUGE in size ~ just an FYI ~ so it required much wandering for me to find my way around and I did so at my leisure, crossing paths with many, many people along the way, the revelation and importance of this will be found later in the story.
I sat through service at this church with peace on my heart that I was in the right place, hearing the right message and then I left to come home with a content heart. After my long drive home I came eager to switch back into my PJ’s and be comfortable. Once I reached my bedroom and took off my dress-coat to hang it up my eyes beheld the most terrifying sight I could have possibly ever dreamed to be my living nightmare:
The afore mentioned “derogatory name-tag sticker” had some how made it’s way from one of my friend’s possession’s onto the BACK OF MY COAT, for I had made certain my own sticker made it's way safely to the garbage can immediately after it's need expired, but another seemed to find it's home ON MY BACK! (in plain VIEW)
This, my blog friends, is a huge laugh for you all at my expense if you just take the moment to think about what I truly shared with you! Mostly enjoyable of course is my husband's funny bone as he can barely gain his composure while his sides ache in laughter at the horrid irony of me running around to and fro not ONE but TWO of God's humongous churches with this thing plastered right on my back for all the world to see in all the inappropriateness imaginable!!!!!!! I have to believe the Lord himself must have had quite a chuckle too Sunday morning! What a lesson in humility I learned this weekend. The humility was in “the flesh” but the message has truly penetrated my pride on a spiritual level to the point I am living for quite some time in the 2" tall category.
I hope you all enjoy, because in all honesty it was too good not to share ~ another ~ only Maria type adventure ~ even if it did almost cause me to nearly DIE right on the spot! I am 10 shades of agonizingly deep red in color simply as I write this all for you to giggle over!
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
The lost soldier
1 John 3:16-18
This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.
Each Monday I join a few others at our church for prayer night. As I was driving to church last night I was feeling pretty good on a “spiritual level”. I had high expectations and excitement that the night would be fruitful. I remember reminiscing about this awesome sermon I had listened to earlier in the day and how the guy continually referenced different scenarios about “an open heaven” and I barely had the chance to begin praying that we’d have an open heaven last night as I turned the corner I cast my eyes upon this sight.
Ummm, pretty clear God was speaking. I knew without doubt He wanted me to expect that open heaven my heart was yearning for and I could BARELY contain myself to drive the last 5 miles to church. I ran into the sanctuary showed off my picture, shared my prayer to the others and I said “we need to expect BIG THINGS! Tonight is going to be ‘a good one’ [which is my Jesus crazy slang for GOD IS GOING TO SHOW UP BIG TIME!]” We sat together chatting and waiting to see if our fashionably late friend Renee would be joining us for the evening. About 7:10pm a man walked in the doors that I didn’t recognize, no big deal to me because I barely know half the parishioners that attend my church so I just figured it was somebody who knew their way around the place and didn’t give a second glance back after the initial sound of an opened door.
Benjamin Alan Best had just graced our presence and he came to us cloaked in a robe of majesty and truth, although appearing to our earthly eyes to be dirty blue wind pants, holey white T-shirt with hints of a black sweatshirt peaking from under the sleeves of a worn Blue spring jacket, topped with a grey dirty ‘do-rag’; my eyes were open to see this man was truly cloaked in heavenly garments as his presence entered into the sanctuary where I was seated.
Immediately in a loud, frank, booming voice he politely yet sternly asked “is there a Pastor around here? I need to speak with a Pastor or Priest in this town.” In this moment my heart did a somersault and butterflies rushed through my veins ~ my spirit KNEW this was going to be a special encounter with this stranger, whoever this man may be I was certain he was “sent” to us and we were lucky to be in his presence. Fortunately [or unfortunately] our Pastor was on vacation (normally he usually attends this prayer meeting with us) and so we could not help this man seek out the church officials he was searching for but he took a chair next to us and one of the members of our group said, "all you have at this church tonight... is us". I silently gasped for air to reach my flat-lining heart as Wayne had just spoke the words that were POUNDING to get out of my chest. With that invitation we embarked upon an amazing dance; Benjamin began to talk and we began to listen, and with divine rhythm he began to teach and we began to learn.
Broken, bitter, peeved fragments mumbled from this man’s mouth through a heavy lisp with a bit of an unrecognizable accent and it was so hard to understand him, you could not decipher the words unless you pressed in and hungered to have the ears to hear. Benjamin spoke tirelessly in circles, at first I hung on every mangled word that exited his mouth eager to know more as he revealed himself and his journey anxious to discover the purpose of our meeting. But for a solid 30 minutes he didn’t reveal himself at all, he spoke in angry, frustrated endless circles about “the church” and its "Christians”. I remember one stark retort from him "I've found more Christians in the local bars after all the Churches in the town have turned me away". More often than not we all found ourselves sitting in a state of confusion as to any sort of relation or full picture of this man’s story beyond his frustrated state of mind of the "church".
In a ruggedly raw yet somehow graceful dance with words Benjamin managed to eventually share with us his journey. Upon knocking at our door he was immersed into his 4th year of a vowed 5 year bike ride in honor of Matt Maupin who (4 years ago) was the first American soldier MIA, captured by terrorists (video-taped and all) and declared a POW in Iraq. Benjamin wanted to raise awareness of Matt’s dire situation so the American people could stand behind their lost soldier, rally together and advocate for our government to intensify their lack-luster search for him. Benjamin thought for certain if he just simply brought Matt’s story “to the people” Matt’s family along with many others would see this country and its people are truly worth fighting for. Benjamin believed in his heart Matt’s torturous unknown future as a POW in a foreign country he offered his life to fight (on our behalf) was not in vain and Benjamin believed that America would agree.
But alas, the Benjamin we would meet 4 years into his journey was another version, a stripped down, beaten, rebuked and abandoned ‘orphan’ that has been overlooked by a vast majority, an embarrassing large percentage of us people who call themselves by the name “Christian” who promised to Jesus Christ that we were His church, who claimed by right of birth to be Americans. His earlier broken-record tyrants were now beginning to penetrate my heart on a deeper level than the superficial offense provoking “judgemental blunt jargon” he had chosen when describing each and every denomination of Christians ever to be known. Actually although his words colorful, jumbled by his lisp and fueled with passion, he did not slander EVERY denomination, in all actuality he stretched my mind to hear just the opposite of what I had unknowingly, subconsciously come to believe engulfed in the snare and sins of “religion” and "judgement". He boasted in prideful manner uplifting the generosity of a few denominations that I had somehow came to a place of judgement over as less than “my standard”. He dragged the very denomination(s) I held at esteemed levels through the mud. I nearly had to laugh inside as the three of us sitting in this Lutheran church with Benjamin hearing him gut out a denomination of which all three of us feel a close connection and drawing too (aside from the Lutherans - which is the church we attend) and he pretty much plastered the inside of our sanctuary with their filthy remains. As I listened to this un-rated, un-filtered version spewing uncontrollably from his mouth I bantered back & forth internally between compassion, understanding and openness to the almighty sin of offense. I remember I even disengaged entirely, my mind wandered for a moment and I glanced at the clock at one point, being the countless 20-something time he was on another tyrant over such & such denominations and "salvation freaks" falling on my ears they were beginning to grow deaf. My mind was drifting to my selfish desire and I just wanted to “see” if this man’s venting was going to fill our “entire” prayer meeting so I checked the time. It was 7:50pm. In the beginning I remember moments of great compassion that filled my heart during this ongoing vent from Benjamin as well. I remember seeing him as an honorable man, on a noble quest, who had been hardened, embittered and failed by “the church” and the product had become a man who was the epitome of judgement over all Christians. Although he never asked for money, [he repeatedly asked for a way to “earn” what he needs to be on his way through our area so he needed to connect with a Pastor or Priest for information] I thought numerous times, his need is obviously money and I drifted back to the simplest of values taught to me by two generations of men in my family that fall into a mold I labeled “non-christian” and from my core I knew I wanted to give this man all the money I possessed at that moment because my deepest value was ringing through my mind as I clearly envisioned it flowing from the mouth of my family members to my heart “Give away what you have with joy because another needs it more than you do”.
It was slightly past 8:00 and I had decided to make my way to my car to gather all the cash I had or write this man a check, earlier in his conversation I had keenly picked up on a sentence where he shared $50 would take him from here all the way to North Dakota and I remember thinking “wow, $50 is so reasonable, this man is not asking for the world, how on earth will that little amount of money last him how ever many days it takes to ride a bike from Rice, MN to Fargo, ND!” As I grabbed my purse I was embarrassed, although I have a greater fortune and a bigger portion to share, I had NO checkbook and only $8 in cash and I wished to give so much more. I was unimpressed with myself but it was all I had and I knew with certainty he could use every penny so my measly $8 was essentially better than nothing. We gave this man all our collected money reaching a little over $40, nearly the amount needed to reach Fargo. We gave him directions to Little Falls and numbers of the specific churches he was seeking to find (the denominations that had welcomed him and helped him his entire 4 year journey and 3rd complete trip through 48 states. Only three denominations of “Christians” did not turn their back on this man and close their doors and so he had felt that he had grown favor in this community and actively sought those particular churches in each town he landed in). When I gave him my $8, he accepted with the most visible humility any person could have imagined, eyes towards the floor, legs shifting nervously and reaching out ever-so-gently he graciously accepted “my widow’s might” as if it were the “king’s treasure”. About 1 hour and 25 minutes after this dance began we were about to part ways, with the man named Benjamin Alan Best. We asked if we could pray for him before he left and he responded “well, that surely can’t hurt me so go ahead” ~ in true "Ben fashion"….so we prayed for all sorts of things and blessed Benjamin asking truly for God’s favor on his last 9 months ‘on the road’.
He exited the door of our church, I walked into the sanctuary and the three of us looked at one another in wonderment. I said “what on earth just happened?” and with those words a wave of titanic proportion perpetuated the flood that was violently released, revelation unfolded faster than the speed of light and my tiny mind exploded in recognition…..I had just spend 1 hour and 20 minutes with Jesus!! Instantly some of my favorite words from Mother Teresa came to my mind “The poor are Jesus in disguise”. Hard truth and conviction, repentance and mercy, abundant love and supernatural knowledge all surrounded in forgiveness was drowning me in this moment, that is Jesus. If I had to describe what was happening in my spirit in terms of taking place in my physical reality it would have been a scene from the Matrix no doubt! My tiny mind was blown into a million pieces once again, all in an instant, that is Jesus. Just as quickly as I asked the question, the Lord sent the answer and I screamed it out without reservation, like a child discovering something for the first time: THAT WAS JESUS! OH MY, OUR OPEN HEAVEN WAS A DATE WITH JESUS HIMSELF!! CAN YOU BELIEVE WE WERE JUST IN THE PRESENCE OF JESUS CHRIST?!!!!!!!! I was giddy, I longed to chase after Benjamin and thank him for being with me, spending his time with me, how honored and humbled I now felt to be in the presence of greatness! How “lucky” were we that no one was at our church all afternoon and Benjamin arrived sometime shortly after 1pm and he just lied on a picnic table BEHIND our church for all these hours and at 7:10pm he decided it was time to move on from Shepherds of the Pines giving up hope of finding a pastor here and he came around the front of the church to find 3 cars, inside 3 hungry souls who were blessed to be his divine appointment from our loving God. To sit in the presence of Jesus Christ and hear the most amazing biblical sermon and non-sugar coated Christian truth, challenged by his very words to explode out of the boxes we had been living in and keep our eyes on God’s ways not the world’s ways, convicted for the failures of all who claim to be God’s “church” and starkly seeing we have fallen so far from the simple truths and heavenly design of what it means to LIVE Christianity was a lot to chew. All of this out of the mouth of an “unchurched, ragged, tired, overlooked and unwanted” man, who indeed was Jesus in disguise. A Jesus that loves so greatly that He himself had come to open our eyes and teach us in the most beautiful “truck-driver” fashion imaginable! A blessing and a test in one blue jogging suit package.
Can I just say how much I love how the Lord speaks, works through ANYTHING and ANYONE & moves in peculiar ways to push you outside your comfort zone, to take great risks in “His name” so you may be BLESSED BY HIS GLORY when you receive the TRUTHS of His word into your heart!
This past Sunday as I sat in church and listened to Pastor Bob’s sermon on James 1:22-25, 27 [Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.] and I was taken back to Africa with the mention of that scripture, widows and orphans. Although I know the definition of orphan is far greater than my ‘experience’ in Africa I fondly and longingly remembered my time with Jesus there and my love for those who are his most precious children. I sat in our church on Sunday thinking to myself how I would long for the intensity and reality of my experience in Africa to meet me here in Minnesota. The very next day I received an answer to that cry of my heart to love on one of God’s orphans, how magnificently beautiful is that.
Thank you Lord, that the 3 of us had a beyond-blessed opportunity to be present with You last night in tangible, living form. If that was not enough, thank you even more-so for the opportunity to LIVE Your word and show Benjamin Alan Best the love of Jesus Christ through TRUE Christianity so one day he may not only be your vessel to reach the world but he will RECEIVE you in his heart and recognize You to see how you have chosen him and used his life for a purpose far greater than he could imagine. Last but not least I want to thank you Jesus for filling me with more of You so I could love not through words but with action and in truth(although imperfect, impatient and with widow’s might) you could use a life as small as mine.
It is my pleasure and honor to pour out to you what He pours into me. What I learned last night from my 1 hour and 20 minutes with Jesus in the flesh of Benjamin Alan Best was more than I have learned in the past year. How embarrassing (and convicting) is it to see that 40 minutes into my "divine date" I lost interest for a few moments and denied the presence of my Lord to check the clock to see "how long He was going to be"...FORGIVE ME. Thank YOU LORD for dealing with me! The Lord uprooted and exposed so many weeds in the garden of my heart I could write for a week!! The Lord used my own family whom I have labeled and written off as "non-christian" to reveal God's own values planted in my heart through them, not church. Most obviously and loudly he dealt with my growing inclination to fall prey to the World's greatest sin of man's "religion" and how far I've wandered from child-like faith that I had once known. I had subconsciously began to "rate" denominations of faith according to my "liking" and JUDGE! The Lord burst that ignorant balloon to smithereens by having Benjamin's recorded 'sermon' on "repeat" mode ~ not because he was stuck in a tyrant of his own judgement and anger after all, it was because I had to hear it dozens of times to rise above the offense, receive with an open heart, open my DEAF EARS, recognize God's voice and CRY TO HIS PEOPLE in those words and take a stark look in the mirror to see my own shortcomings ~ this time not forgetting what my reflection looked like. God truly and powerfully reminded me, it never was his design for denominations = it's supposed to be "one church" who is God's bride living in constant relationship with Him and serving in His love to...
every.single.person.
no questions asked, just LOVE supernaturally and extravagantly and in this you will become "Christian" aka "little Christs" and your gift will be joy and fellowship with God Himself.
So it is with honor I close this post with Benjamin's parting gift to us, just as it is, just as he is, just as God has planned to use him. His blog titled "the lost soldier", his candid journey through the U.S. over the course of 4+ years on a bike(with 9 months to go) and his discovery that we are truly unworthy of all who have innocently paid the price for us with their lives, beginning (which should have been the ending) with Jesus Christ."
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Still Here (edited)
I have NOT forgotten about this blog, but I've been focusing lately on my overwhelming busy schedule ~ or more-so letting "the schedule" overtake me so this detail has taken a back seat.
Admittedly, I've also been "stuck" in a period of "desert times" walking with the Lord so I have been focusing on [surviving] that journey as well without much to share of His workings, miracles and hand on my life ~ which is the essence of this blog's purpose to glorify my amazing God. This has been a time of a lot of personal reflection and some rough, necessary ups & downs on my emotional spiritual journey ~ the battlefield of the mind sometimes becomes an all out war! When I "make the time" to come here to reflect openly on the journey of these past few months I will certainly share all the ways my choices have affected my life and how even when I decided to become "too busy for God" the Lord has drowned me in His grace and continued to love me unconditionally even when I didn't deserve it! And most certainly when I pass through this phase in full I will see with clarity how He was with me on the journey and truly His workings, miracles and almighty Hand was on my life all along!
In the meantime, I pray the Lord shows His face to each of you and His grace truly floods your heart sweeping it clean of all the dirt that never needed to settle there!
Edited to add: Shortly after this post I read these words below and they soooo spoke to my heart and where I'm at as I emerge from the desert!
"This is the truth of the gospel: no matter how sordid your life has been, no matter how many sins have been, they are small compared to the grace of Christ. Jesus, the eternal son of God, became a man, and He offered himself on the cross through the eternal Spirit, to become a sacrifice of infinite value for your salvation. He can make you a new person just as easily as He brought the entire universe into existence by speaking."
~Walter Marshall, The Gospel Mystery of Sanctification
AMEN AND THANK GOD!
The Lord truly reminded me of his bottomless depths of drowning glory called GRACE (that I too live in) in the DVD teaching by Louie Giglio titled "Fruitcake and Ice Cream" if EVER you wanted to hear some beautiful words and testimony of God's IMMENSE grace seek this DVD!!
But friends, that's exactly who we are: children of God. And that's only the beginning. Who knows how we'll end up[or in my case how often we'll trip & fall]! What we know is that when Christ is openly revealed, we'll see him—and in seeing him, become like him. All of us who look forward to his coming stay ready, with the glistening purity of Jesus' life as a model for our own. ~ 1 John 3:2-3 (msg)
Admittedly, I've also been "stuck" in a period of "desert times" walking with the Lord so I have been focusing on [surviving] that journey as well without much to share of His workings, miracles and hand on my life ~ which is the essence of this blog's purpose to glorify my amazing God. This has been a time of a lot of personal reflection and some rough, necessary ups & downs on my emotional spiritual journey ~ the battlefield of the mind sometimes becomes an all out war! When I "make the time" to come here to reflect openly on the journey of these past few months I will certainly share all the ways my choices have affected my life and how even when I decided to become "too busy for God" the Lord has drowned me in His grace and continued to love me unconditionally even when I didn't deserve it! And most certainly when I pass through this phase in full I will see with clarity how He was with me on the journey and truly His workings, miracles and almighty Hand was on my life all along!
In the meantime, I pray the Lord shows His face to each of you and His grace truly floods your heart sweeping it clean of all the dirt that never needed to settle there!
Edited to add: Shortly after this post I read these words below and they soooo spoke to my heart and where I'm at as I emerge from the desert!
"This is the truth of the gospel: no matter how sordid your life has been, no matter how many sins have been, they are small compared to the grace of Christ. Jesus, the eternal son of God, became a man, and He offered himself on the cross through the eternal Spirit, to become a sacrifice of infinite value for your salvation. He can make you a new person just as easily as He brought the entire universe into existence by speaking."
~Walter Marshall, The Gospel Mystery of Sanctification
AMEN AND THANK GOD!
The Lord truly reminded me of his bottomless depths of drowning glory called GRACE (that I too live in) in the DVD teaching by Louie Giglio titled "Fruitcake and Ice Cream" if EVER you wanted to hear some beautiful words and testimony of God's IMMENSE grace seek this DVD!!
But friends, that's exactly who we are: children of God. And that's only the beginning. Who knows how we'll end up[or in my case how often we'll trip & fall]! What we know is that when Christ is openly revealed, we'll see him—and in seeing him, become like him. All of us who look forward to his coming stay ready, with the glistening purity of Jesus' life as a model for our own. ~ 1 John 3:2-3 (msg)
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Memories.
Join with me in lifting up Rwanda as April 6th marked the beginning of their 15th year anniversary of surviving genocide. 15 years may seem long to some of you, but I assure you behind the eyes of an orphaned 9yr old child who witnessed terror unspeakable to your imagination, 15 years, 50 years or 15 seconds....when April 6th arrives so does the pain, memories, nightmares, heartache and mourning with vivid intensity. I sometimes wonder how long it would take me to mourn 1 million tragic deaths of my fellow brothers, sisters, parents, grandparents, neighbors, friends, teachers, pastors and so on... a lifetime at the least.
This is a photo Jean Claude sent to me in January, a typical lunch scene for him with friends.
A beautiful story that is not mine to tell of a boy rising from the ashes to shine like a diamond is my precious "old son" Jean Claude of the Best Family in Rwanda. Today I meditate on his email which is filled with so much pain of the past yet somehow I receive his words with a heart of hope for a future, for he can not see the works the Lord is doing through his life...but I surely can. It has been 2 weeks since I have exchanged emails with Jean Claude, I normally receive at least 2 emails per week, lots of prayer-filled emails. I in turn did not send any his way as I was "stuck" in prayer over my last conversation with him, trying to discern the solution for the children who are without means for schooling in our Best Family, lingering and focussing on a financial hurdle which feels like a lose-lose burden at the moment.
Although I don't believe in irony, I'm going to say it is most ironic that I have pondered these past 2 weeks what is my "purpose" with the Best Family ~ as in long term. I feel "benched" from the missions field as of late thinking it's not my reality that I will be traveling to see these sweet faces in any sort of near future, so the hope of being a tangible, physical presence in their life is whithering for me. I wondered in the quietness of my heart, not even truly praying, just pondering...Lord, what is my purpose in their lives, do you need me to stand in the gap for financial purposes or what can I truly offer these orphans "from a far" on a long term basis, will this relationship drift off or remain closely connected since our visit 9 long months ago? What is mine to do for these precious children?!? You know, I had some seed of doubt trying to take root in my heart and thank goodness the Lord seen this and knew He should, step in to guide me and graciously reassure me of my need.
So Jean Claude sent me an email yesterday and seeking to know "where have I been, why is there not any emails from me, his 'mum' that he needs?" He explained with many unnecessary apologies that he has been without internet access for these two weeks and that is why he did not email me. His absence was commissioned by the RPF (Gov't party) for him and his college classmates to go out to the villages deep into the southern & northern provinces to teach peace to the people preparing for another season of darkness as this genocide anniversary was approaching. He spent these two weeks promoting the Lord desires for Rwandan people, love, forgiveness and anti-genocide ideology to prevent and dissuade an angry uprising among the people who still live in bondage to the horror they have witness and the pain that has consumed them for 1 1/2 decades. He went to serve the Lord as his peacemaker. Then he made his way to the dearest "older" children of the Best Family who are surviving orphans of this genocide to be with them in this time of their deepest emotional need. He is finally back at school and he came seeking his email to be greeted by me, but there was nothing there to greet him from me. I had lost sight on what was most important, my response emails.
After he has attended all the needs of others, he reaches out to me wearing his hurting heart on his sleeve crying out to me "where are you mum?" and I received from the Lord with a crystal clear direct line drowning in conviction...this is my need. Jean Claude begs of me "am I still under your love, prayers, affection, compassion and family? I wish for this to be FOREVER." He goes on to apologize at the shortness of his email, not hearing from me in so long he wasn't sure if he should write. He closes his message to me saying "I must go now, I am not fine in my heart, I am crying real tears as I remember my genocide testimony (which he has shared with me)."
Oh Lord, I buckle at the knees to think where my heart was wandering and why I ever let doubt find a place to put cracks in the seams you've sewn. I know my need and I realize only through YOU JESUS is it possible to love 50+ children an ocean away simply through email. But that is exactly what you're doing...so I poured my heart out to my hurting "old child" with all the love, prayers, affection, compassion and family support I could in every single sentence the Lord graced my mind to muster. Jean Claude once shared with me the importance of my role as a mom to him, because at the age of 9yrs old when his father and sister were murdered in the genocide, his mother took Jean Claude no longer as her son, but as her husband, caretaker and family provider. At 9yrs old a man was forced to be born from the ashes of this genocide and so he has clung tightly to his father's dying wish to fill his shoes, become a man of God, live forgiveness and peace and in doing so he has been polished into a powerfully anointed servant of the Lord who shines like an irreplaceable diamond, yet the need for a mother's love never leaves his soul's deepest desire for I am sent to love that broken 9yr old boy's heart.
Thank you Lord that you've chosen me to receive this gift. For it is in giving that we receive ~ so I give my mother's heart to the orphans of the Best Family and I receive more love than my heart can hold.
This is a photo Jean Claude sent to me in January, a typical lunch scene for him with friends. A beautiful story that is not mine to tell of a boy rising from the ashes to shine like a diamond is my precious "old son" Jean Claude of the Best Family in Rwanda. Today I meditate on his email which is filled with so much pain of the past yet somehow I receive his words with a heart of hope for a future, for he can not see the works the Lord is doing through his life...but I surely can. It has been 2 weeks since I have exchanged emails with Jean Claude, I normally receive at least 2 emails per week, lots of prayer-filled emails. I in turn did not send any his way as I was "stuck" in prayer over my last conversation with him, trying to discern the solution for the children who are without means for schooling in our Best Family, lingering and focussing on a financial hurdle which feels like a lose-lose burden at the moment.
Although I don't believe in irony, I'm going to say it is most ironic that I have pondered these past 2 weeks what is my "purpose" with the Best Family ~ as in long term. I feel "benched" from the missions field as of late thinking it's not my reality that I will be traveling to see these sweet faces in any sort of near future, so the hope of being a tangible, physical presence in their life is whithering for me. I wondered in the quietness of my heart, not even truly praying, just pondering...Lord, what is my purpose in their lives, do you need me to stand in the gap for financial purposes or what can I truly offer these orphans "from a far" on a long term basis, will this relationship drift off or remain closely connected since our visit 9 long months ago? What is mine to do for these precious children?!? You know, I had some seed of doubt trying to take root in my heart and thank goodness the Lord seen this and knew He should, step in to guide me and graciously reassure me of my need.
So Jean Claude sent me an email yesterday and seeking to know "where have I been, why is there not any emails from me, his 'mum' that he needs?" He explained with many unnecessary apologies that he has been without internet access for these two weeks and that is why he did not email me. His absence was commissioned by the RPF (Gov't party) for him and his college classmates to go out to the villages deep into the southern & northern provinces to teach peace to the people preparing for another season of darkness as this genocide anniversary was approaching. He spent these two weeks promoting the Lord desires for Rwandan people, love, forgiveness and anti-genocide ideology to prevent and dissuade an angry uprising among the people who still live in bondage to the horror they have witness and the pain that has consumed them for 1 1/2 decades. He went to serve the Lord as his peacemaker. Then he made his way to the dearest "older" children of the Best Family who are surviving orphans of this genocide to be with them in this time of their deepest emotional need. He is finally back at school and he came seeking his email to be greeted by me, but there was nothing there to greet him from me. I had lost sight on what was most important, my response emails.
After he has attended all the needs of others, he reaches out to me wearing his hurting heart on his sleeve crying out to me "where are you mum?" and I received from the Lord with a crystal clear direct line drowning in conviction...this is my need. Jean Claude begs of me "am I still under your love, prayers, affection, compassion and family? I wish for this to be FOREVER." He goes on to apologize at the shortness of his email, not hearing from me in so long he wasn't sure if he should write. He closes his message to me saying "I must go now, I am not fine in my heart, I am crying real tears as I remember my genocide testimony (which he has shared with me)."
Oh Lord, I buckle at the knees to think where my heart was wandering and why I ever let doubt find a place to put cracks in the seams you've sewn. I know my need and I realize only through YOU JESUS is it possible to love 50+ children an ocean away simply through email. But that is exactly what you're doing...so I poured my heart out to my hurting "old child" with all the love, prayers, affection, compassion and family support I could in every single sentence the Lord graced my mind to muster. Jean Claude once shared with me the importance of my role as a mom to him, because at the age of 9yrs old when his father and sister were murdered in the genocide, his mother took Jean Claude no longer as her son, but as her husband, caretaker and family provider. At 9yrs old a man was forced to be born from the ashes of this genocide and so he has clung tightly to his father's dying wish to fill his shoes, become a man of God, live forgiveness and peace and in doing so he has been polished into a powerfully anointed servant of the Lord who shines like an irreplaceable diamond, yet the need for a mother's love never leaves his soul's deepest desire for I am sent to love that broken 9yr old boy's heart.
Thank you Lord that you've chosen me to receive this gift. For it is in giving that we receive ~ so I give my mother's heart to the orphans of the Best Family and I receive more love than my heart can hold.
The Best Family Children in their "Sunday's Best" celebrating Christmas back in December.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Focus on Fasting
Fasting from Anger and Unforgiveness
(GULP!) I'm ready ~ you?
Reflection ?'s:
~If I fast from anger what can I replace it with? (I'm praying for snickers! hee hee)
~Why is forgiveness so difficult for me?
~What connection is there between my anger and my being unwilling to forgive?
Scripture: John 12:24
"Unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces much fruit."
Wow, how I LOVE these words!
~ Can you recall a time in your life when this passage was a reflection of what was happening for you? "I can answer this in one word (although it has a deep definition, including many chapters) = infertility"
~ Can you name the "fruit" that was produced from this experience? "Fruit so sweet I can barely stand to share it = Zachary & Boston."
THANK YOU Jesus!
(GULP!) I'm ready ~ you?
Reflection ?'s:
~If I fast from anger what can I replace it with? (I'm praying for snickers! hee hee)
~Why is forgiveness so difficult for me?
~What connection is there between my anger and my being unwilling to forgive?
Scripture: John 12:24
"Unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces much fruit."
Wow, how I LOVE these words!
~ Can you recall a time in your life when this passage was a reflection of what was happening for you? "I can answer this in one word (although it has a deep definition, including many chapters) = infertility"
~ Can you name the "fruit" that was produced from this experience? "Fruit so sweet I can barely stand to share it = Zachary & Boston."
THANK YOU Jesus!
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Trusting for Trey
Join with me in trusting our Lord through the petitioning prayers of His faithful people that Trey will receive the breakthrough he so needs from our gracious, giving, loving, almighty God.
Go here to read all about Trey's journey through this uncertain life that he has battled so fiercely to be a part of here on earth:
For those of you who are not familiar with caringbridge, click on "my story" to read all about the trials & tribulations this sweet angel has faced in his 5 short years.
So I call out to all of you whom read this blog, join me in the greatest gift we could give this child ~ our prayers. The power of prayer continues to blow my small mind daily and so oddly, I tell you beside the ache, pain, saddness and fear that fills my heart for Trey and his family I find an equal amount of rest Trusting (in Him) for Trey. Our God of the IMPOSSIBLE is awaiting us to call on Him for this family, let's not let this little boy down and gift him our prayers.
Loving Father,
I come to You with heaviness of a burdened heart. A heart that can not fathom the terror of living in an unknown realm of darkness, loving a boy who lives in hostage to seizures. God You have softened my heart to such a serious and terrifying encounter and so I cry out to You with all I have to reach down and touch Your precious Trey with Your Almighty healing hand. Lord, I trust that Your ways are not our own ways ~ help us to know Your peace when we can not see through the storm, help us to fix our eyes upon YOU. I know You will open doors for this child and supernaturally supply the funds necessary for him to complete the journey You have set forth for his life. I call on You to fulfill Your promises in Isaiah 58: Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard. God these are beautiful words from You to rest in and know that You have a plan to prosper Trey, and You will pass through the waters along side him. I give my heart in prayer to You Lord and I'm trusting for Trey that all we need is found in Your faithful promises: Matthew 7: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
~ Trusting for Trey with all my heart, your daughter always,
Maria
Monday, March 23, 2009
Are you ready?...
For this challenge ~ Focus on Fasting for this week:
Fasting from Gossip!
I LOVE THIS ONE!!! What's even more "maria style"[as in better WAY LATE than never] is I've finally decided to include more to this challenge, questions to ponder & scripture to note that is also a part of this weekly board display ~ I know the Sisters won't mind if I spread their genius ideas on through my blog.
The scripture that is referenced in coordination with this week's super awesome challenge is:
"Whoever lives the truth comes to the light, so that his/her works may be clearly seen as done by God." John 3:21
Questions for reflection:
-Who becomes the focus of attention when gossip is passed on?
-Who/What becomes the victim when I gossip?
-How can I transform the energy I experience when I gossip about another into energy for praise & gratitude? (HELLO ~ AWESOME!)
Fasting from Gossip!
I LOVE THIS ONE!!! What's even more "maria style"[as in better WAY LATE than never] is I've finally decided to include more to this challenge, questions to ponder & scripture to note that is also a part of this weekly board display ~ I know the Sisters won't mind if I spread their genius ideas on through my blog.
The scripture that is referenced in coordination with this week's super awesome challenge is:
"Whoever lives the truth comes to the light, so that his/her works may be clearly seen as done by God." John 3:21
Questions for reflection:
-Who becomes the focus of attention when gossip is passed on?
-Who/What becomes the victim when I gossip?
-How can I transform the energy I experience when I gossip about another into energy for praise & gratitude? (HELLO ~ AWESOME!)
Monday, March 16, 2009
Focus on Fasting
Here's the posted FSLF "dare" for this week, ya ready:
Fasting from Judgement!
OOOH, I like this one! It's one I work on pretty much non-stop since reading Bait of Satan by John Bevere! It's actually an inner challenge I REALLY LOVE! Who's in it with me?
BTW: How did ya do last week? I'll be the first to admit I had some failures..okay, ya got me...a lot...but I did seem to recognize just about every time I complained ~ right after I just finished complaining ~ eek! Work in progress, work in progress [that's my inner motivational speaker trying to encourage my self-esteem to keep trying even though I'm apparently a big ole complainer!] ha!
Fasting from Judgement!
OOOH, I like this one! It's one I work on pretty much non-stop since reading Bait of Satan by John Bevere! It's actually an inner challenge I REALLY LOVE! Who's in it with me?
BTW: How did ya do last week? I'll be the first to admit I had some failures..okay, ya got me...a lot...but I did seem to recognize just about every time I complained ~ right after I just finished complaining ~ eek! Work in progress, work in progress [that's my inner motivational speaker trying to encourage my self-esteem to keep trying even though I'm apparently a big ole complainer!] ha!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
My favorite prayer
Posted on the wall of a beautiful place in Rwanda was this prayer that shattered me to the core, hit my heart in places I never knew I had. I think the effect of reading this prayer while standing next to Rwandan women who have been survivors all their lives, from genocide ~ to prostitution ~ to homelessness ~ to single mother ~ to AIDS victim ~ each story is unique and devastating more often than not...but they are linked by always knowing they are beautiful daughters of Jesus Christ, offering themselves and their lives at any cost. Standing in the presence of such greatness, knowing simply "life" in itself has truly cost these women ALL they've had to give humbles me and that is why this prayer takes me to that place where emotions burst over the levy's in my heart and force me just to be vulnerable, surrendering to the awe-inspiring love God has for each of His children and soak in the inspiration these words and these Rwandan lives bring to me. This is by far my favorite prayer of all time! Not only do I long to pray these words, I long to live this prayer!I offer my life
I offer my life to you Jesus Christfor you to live in me and through me
Here is my face – shine from it
Here are my ears – hear the cry of hurting persons through them
Here are my eyes – see the faces of those who need your blessing and bless them with the healing look that radiates from you my Lord, through my eyes
Here is my tongue – speak through it, speak words of encouragement and
affirmation
Here o Lord are my hands – use them to touch, stroke, hold, lift
and steady another human being.
Here o Lord are my feet – walk where you want me to go.
And may those who follow me, be following Jesus Christ.
Amen
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Crockpot
The entry I have today is just a bunch of little compilations to throw in the "crockpot" of your soul so here goes:
Firstly I wanted to share these words from one of my devotional prayer books for today. I just love the message! Here's the final paragraph: "God has not promised that we will never be lonely, but He has promised that in Him, we will never be alone. He has not promised that we will be free from pain and sorrow, but He has promised that He will be our help, our strength, and our everlasting peace. Since by God's grace, every circumstance finds us abiding in Christ, we will find Christ abiding with us in every circumstance." I will never leave you nor forsake you ~ Hebrews 13:5 For you music lovers these words totally remind me of a few awesome songs that always yank at my tear glands; I Will Never Leave You Children by Jason Upton, Held by Natalie Grant and Heal the Wound by Point of Grace.
Secondly I wanted to share with you all a small revelation that came to me. Some of you may be very well aware we are in the midst of Lent and participating in relative practices. Some of you may not give a hoot. I used to fall into the latter category, I'm now seeking to join the first category. Still being relatively new to this Christian gig, I wasn't all to familiar with Lent, it's purpose nor any of the specifics ~ but working at a convent I was aware of when it took place on the calender, mostly because of "Fat Tuesday" and the free homemade donuts. Previously, all I really cared to know on the subject was that it's when most of my co-workers swear of sweets for awhile and I must fully stock my only chocolate supply! ;) Since I never felt the drive or motivation to swear off candy & dessert for Jesus I never took the time to delve into the depths of Lent. I'm still largely in the dark about the spiritual journey Lent has to offer...BUT...I'm learning! ;) One thing that I loved to find here at the convent that helped open my eyes to possible other meanings of Lent aside from resisting my sweet tooth is a bulletin board the sister's have posted that has a certain little weekly message titled "Focus on Fasting". Last week it said "Fast from criticism"....and the revelation hit me, with snickers in hand ~ WOW, those are great words and something I would LOVE to do in honor of Jesus, Lent, my growing knowledge of my faith, and I can still eat this snickers guilt free knowing that I'm not dishonoring my love for God. WHEW! Well, my lil confession is that I believe I failed miserably[thus eating extra snickers] and I think I owe most my apologies to Donny! So this week I'm back with avengance to hold fast to the challenge: Focus on Fasting: Fast from complaining. I'm in it to win it this week! I thought these were awesome suggestions so I wanted to bring them here for you all to see and challenge you to embrace them with me ~ Lent inspired or not ~ it's a "Fast" we all could stand to try! I'm hoping I'll make it here each Monday morning to post the next week's Focus for fasting so if all two of you who read this blog wanna join me, you can!
Lastly; I've posted this elsewhere but I just love the words soooo much I must post them here as well. So if it's repeat for some ~ sorry ~ but seriously this is fashion advice to live by so it's worth repeating!! It's no mystery that I have no sense of fashion and that more often than not my hair ends up rotating from one disaster to another which usually compliments the eyesore I call my wardrobe, so when I found this sound advice I took it to heart immediately and I think you all might like it too? "Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained in the way of righteousness. ~ Proverbs 16:31" I'm contemplating sending this in for consideration for Paul Mitchell's '09 advertising campaign?
Firstly I wanted to share these words from one of my devotional prayer books for today. I just love the message! Here's the final paragraph: "God has not promised that we will never be lonely, but He has promised that in Him, we will never be alone. He has not promised that we will be free from pain and sorrow, but He has promised that He will be our help, our strength, and our everlasting peace. Since by God's grace, every circumstance finds us abiding in Christ, we will find Christ abiding with us in every circumstance." I will never leave you nor forsake you ~ Hebrews 13:5 For you music lovers these words totally remind me of a few awesome songs that always yank at my tear glands; I Will Never Leave You Children by Jason Upton, Held by Natalie Grant and Heal the Wound by Point of Grace.
Secondly I wanted to share with you all a small revelation that came to me. Some of you may be very well aware we are in the midst of Lent and participating in relative practices. Some of you may not give a hoot. I used to fall into the latter category, I'm now seeking to join the first category. Still being relatively new to this Christian gig, I wasn't all to familiar with Lent, it's purpose nor any of the specifics ~ but working at a convent I was aware of when it took place on the calender, mostly because of "Fat Tuesday" and the free homemade donuts. Previously, all I really cared to know on the subject was that it's when most of my co-workers swear of sweets for awhile and I must fully stock my only chocolate supply! ;) Since I never felt the drive or motivation to swear off candy & dessert for Jesus I never took the time to delve into the depths of Lent. I'm still largely in the dark about the spiritual journey Lent has to offer...BUT...I'm learning! ;) One thing that I loved to find here at the convent that helped open my eyes to possible other meanings of Lent aside from resisting my sweet tooth is a bulletin board the sister's have posted that has a certain little weekly message titled "Focus on Fasting". Last week it said "Fast from criticism"....and the revelation hit me, with snickers in hand ~ WOW, those are great words and something I would LOVE to do in honor of Jesus, Lent, my growing knowledge of my faith, and I can still eat this snickers guilt free knowing that I'm not dishonoring my love for God. WHEW! Well, my lil confession is that I believe I failed miserably[thus eating extra snickers] and I think I owe most my apologies to Donny! So this week I'm back with avengance to hold fast to the challenge: Focus on Fasting: Fast from complaining. I'm in it to win it this week! I thought these were awesome suggestions so I wanted to bring them here for you all to see and challenge you to embrace them with me ~ Lent inspired or not ~ it's a "Fast" we all could stand to try! I'm hoping I'll make it here each Monday morning to post the next week's Focus for fasting so if all two of you who read this blog wanna join me, you can!
Lastly; I've posted this elsewhere but I just love the words soooo much I must post them here as well. So if it's repeat for some ~ sorry ~ but seriously this is fashion advice to live by so it's worth repeating!! It's no mystery that I have no sense of fashion and that more often than not my hair ends up rotating from one disaster to another which usually compliments the eyesore I call my wardrobe, so when I found this sound advice I took it to heart immediately and I think you all might like it too? "Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained in the way of righteousness. ~ Proverbs 16:31" I'm contemplating sending this in for consideration for Paul Mitchell's '09 advertising campaign?
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Awakening
I wonder if this ever happens to others as often as it happens to me, you're strumming along aimlessly and out of the blue something so ordinary becomes extraordinary...something you've known/seen/read/heard greets you as if it were for the very first time and impacts you in a greater way than you've ever known imaginable. What I've come to know as a divine awakening! ;)
That is what is happening for me with this amazing story:
One night an old man had a dream he had died and gone to heaven, where he was given a chance to review the footsteps in his life. He looked down and noticed that all over the dark valleys and difficult places he had traveled, there was only one set of footprints, but over the plains and across the beautiful mountains there were two sets of footprints as if someone had walked by his side.
He turned to the Lord and said, "There is something I can't understand about my life on earth. Why is is that across the mountains and over the smooth plains and easy places you have walked by my side, but here over the rough and difficult places I have walked alone, for I see in these places there is just one set of footprints?"
The Lord turned to the man and said, "It is true that while your life was easy I walked along by your side. I was your companion, but here when the walking was hard, and the path was difficult, here where you crossed the battlefields of life and did not have the strength to endure, I realized that was the time you needed me most.
"And that is why I carried you."
~ Famously knows as the beautiful "Footprints"
Thanks for always carrying me Lord, my heart explodes from the depths of your love!
That is what is happening for me with this amazing story:
One night an old man had a dream he had died and gone to heaven, where he was given a chance to review the footsteps in his life. He looked down and noticed that all over the dark valleys and difficult places he had traveled, there was only one set of footprints, but over the plains and across the beautiful mountains there were two sets of footprints as if someone had walked by his side.
He turned to the Lord and said, "There is something I can't understand about my life on earth. Why is is that across the mountains and over the smooth plains and easy places you have walked by my side, but here over the rough and difficult places I have walked alone, for I see in these places there is just one set of footprints?"
The Lord turned to the man and said, "It is true that while your life was easy I walked along by your side. I was your companion, but here when the walking was hard, and the path was difficult, here where you crossed the battlefields of life and did not have the strength to endure, I realized that was the time you needed me most.
"And that is why I carried you."
~ Famously knows as the beautiful "Footprints"
Thanks for always carrying me Lord, my heart explodes from the depths of your love!
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